Please write me your opinion in the comment section on what you would’ve done if you were me.
I am currently aged 34, depressed ever since the age of 16. In all my of lifetime I never had a job (I have no skills or talents whatsoever), nor did I ever had a love life (women never liked me). In these 34 on this earth I barely had any friends (currently I have none). I am currently living with my parents who are quite old and they will probably leave me soon due to their old age. When they are gone and when the savings are gone I will become a homeless person. I was suicidal ever since the age of 16, but I never did it because that would’ve devastated my loving parents. When they are gone and I end up living on the streets I plan to kill myself. Why needlessly suffer? Nobody would miss me. I don’t have any friends and I don’t have any relatives who would even notice my absence. So I was wondering, what you would’ve done if you were me? Would you have ended things, or continued living as a homeless person as long as your natural life was.
Thank you for your opinions and thank you for reading this.
3 comments
I know you must have tried to get out of your current conditions. Do what you want, we’re put here without a beginning nor end unlike characters in a novel, and no one can decide for you but yourself, love your parents while they’re still here, make them feel loved, make them happy, and the rest is all up to you.
Sorry about this comment, i know it is rather useless, I wish you better days.
I’m 33 years old, not that much younger than you. Despite that my 20s went a lot better (from what I can tell), had several jobs, several relationships…. bought a house…. all of which I am not going to downplay the joy of. I really managed to distract myself for awhile.
Still depression and disability are great equalizers in their way. At this point I’m looking down the same monsters; death of my parents, not being able to afford my lifestyle…. but, for me this was a known monster, I kind of saw it coming.
There are some options. They aren’t great, but better than homelessness. It sounds like there are some financial assets such as house, car(s), etc. Maybe even life insurance? maybe not, not assuming. The point is, if you can raise about $5k, you can be relatively free. Mind, where I live going off grid is cheaper.
The steps; buy the cheapest piece of land you can afford, while leaving a few thousand on the side.
Buy some sort of structure. It can be a shed, camper, RV, heck even a decent canvas tent can provide plenty of comfort. If possible also get a wood stove and a knife. Set yourself up somewhere relatively rural, get on disability, you’re good for as long as you can live under those conditions, which I repeat are better than living on the street.
That’s my long term plan right now. When my folks die, I’ll sell their house, and with that money I can go buy a piece of land, structure and some tools, and I can live indefinitely like that. Reducing to a lifestyle you can keep up is liberating.
Or not, I’m not going to tell you how to live. Just that I started writing this earlier, and your story stuck with me enough to finish it. That’s my investment, such as it is.
I dont know if will help you somehow and I dont want to try to sound like I got it all figured out coz I don´t. But since you asked for advise I will try to give some.
I would try to accept either outcome or option. Like if you actually end up homeless and killing yourself its “fine”. I mean nothing worse can happen. I don´t think that some god will judge you and you will go to hell or some shit because I dont believe in that.
I´m not trying to say you should go and take your life! but just to try to recognize that it really doesn´t matter what you do in the end. You can do whatever you want in this life and the universe doesn´t care. In 1000 years you will be dead anyway and no one will remember. You are just like an ant one in millions of only you feel special and separated coz of your ego. Idk it feels so cheesy to try to put quotes in my advice but I really like the quote that “You do not come into this world, you come out of it, like a leaf from a tree.”
I may not be helping lol. Im sorry I don´t know if you are getting my points. I hope you dont get my message in the wrong way or if it sounds too cheesy or mumbo jumbo astro crap.
When I say it doesn´t matter I dont mean this in a depressing way. It´s kinda liberating feeling to me. To think about this life as not something so serious. Like sometimes I just sit and stare into space and think like it really doesn´t even fking matter at all. And for some reason that is so amazing feeling. Sometimes I think people need to fully accept their situation first in order to get the energy and try to change it. But I dont know you and I dont know any better at all so probably just ignore my rants. Im high also. Wish you best of luck brother.