Y’all may know me from way back, depressed and suicidal. I have been dating this very sad and distressed boy, he recently jumped infront of a car and was killed instantly. It happened so fast, he was dead before the ambulance arrived, I was blocks away. I was gonna pick him up bc he was walking home drunk. He told me he was depressed that he wanted to kill him self. I told him I’ll call off work, and he said, “no don’t chill my friends coming”. I still tried to pick him up but he wasn’t where he said he was. 20 mins later I get a call from his friend saying he passed away. I just saw the video surveillance, he was running into the street and on purpose and he stretched out his arms as the he jump in-front of the car. It was intentional. I had no idea. He and I both were emotional, but I guess he was just so much more. I friend that didn’t know us well said I made him miserable and he did it bc of me ( he abused me and we broke up and he got better for me and I couldn’t recover and he also cheated on me) he showed this friend one of ours last fights in text messages where he pushed me bc he was butt hurt about a game then beaten up by his friend bc of that and then said he’d kill himself then broke my car window and I called the cops. It was bad but trust that rarely happened like we were so much better has a couple, no fighting the day it happened excepted when I sent him bad news that made him sad, I sent it to him for comfort, I feel dumb doing that now. I didn’t know. He was going to work drunk all the time and I was hard on him bc I was worried when I should’ve been kinder. He was being bullied at work, that or he liked a girl and she didn’t leave her guy for him and he didn’t like that. Either way the whole situation is shit. I’m dying. I wanna kill myself, I’m suicidal and now this shit??? Fuuuckkkk.