I just wanted to write

I have no rea reason to be posting. I’m not in any sort of trouble or pain or anything like that. Not out of the usual that is. I just don’t have any motivation. I feel nothing. I want nothing. That’s not true. I do want happiness, I just am not sure what that means. I’ve gone through the paces over a thousand times in my head and I never feel like I go anywhere. I always feel like I’m going in circles. What do I want? Why do I want what I want? I think if I have to be real honest, I just want an easy life. I want to not struggle or feel pain or worry. I want the prestige of a good career and to do things that are important. I want someone who will be a close companion and who I can share everything with. Someone to hold close and care about me. All these things conflict with each other though. First off, there is no such thing as an easy life. It is full of struggles and worries. You don’t get a good career without hard work and struggle. All of a sudden I’m not sure what I am talking about. What is the point of me even writing this again? I don’t know. I think I’m just putting off work. I think that’s the only reason why I’m writing any of this down. I should know better. I don’t know.