I’m gonna free myself from this 3D form

I’m finally going to do it. I have the best plan and it’s perfect. No one will even know I’m gone as I’m not close with anyone. I won’t have to go to my shitty job and get yelled at, or my second job where I’m pulling hair out. I won’t have to see the ppl who are important to me ignore and hangout with my enemies. I won’t have to cry every day and night grieving over my lost love. I will finally be free with him, together forever at peace at last.

I won’t be going into this stupid next year. I’ve spent my whole life in pain. Looking back, the childhood sucked, growing up sucked, moving to a better place sucked. I got abused by everyone I cared for, fucked over by all the people I poured my heart out to. As the years went by, I met more people that also hurt me and left me. Most of them have forgotten me and I’m too traumatized to be healed.

I’d just have to keep living like this, knowing very well for some, it never will get better, and the glimpse of hope people always try to dangle in your face, that’s not reality. I’m not suffering a life time of pain just for a glimpse of hope and happiness. Fuck that. I’ll find peace. Nothing beats the peace OFF earth. that pure bliss people describe in their NDE and OBE. We were put on earth for a lesson and I’m gonna do the extra credit it takes to skip the lesson and pass go. I deserve it. I’m just sorry it took me so long.