This week was a bit of a rough one. I just felt tired. I’m a bit scared to be honest. I think I’m developing another vice and that makes me scared. I don’t drink often, but I’m starting to really binge drink when I do. Part of myself wants get so drunk that I don’t even see straight. Another part of me is scared by this. The last time I really drank heavily was a little over a month ago, after I got done with the semester. Drank 5 cans of 9.5% abv. Threw up the next morning. Now when I drink I get a bit queasy. Can’t stand more than 2 before I want to just stop. But I still feel that need to not be sober. I already have a bunch of other vices. Eating, Jacking off, Sleeping, Games. Anything to not feel like shit. Drinking is something I don’t want to add on to the pile. A lot of my family members are alcoholics. I’m scared. Right now a six pack is in my fridge and I’m going back and forth between myself. I don’t know anymore. I will say that when I drink, I just feel numb. And it feels great.
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2 comments
I won’t make it a habit. I almost went down that path, but I ended up not using alcohol as my crutch. Cigarettes are what I used, but I quit and started to vape. What is causing your depression?
I went full blow alcoholic. Can´t say that´s a good path. Drinking only made everything worse for me 🙁 I still drink, not nowhere near the same amount. Take care of yourself, and be well.