I’ve got a younger brother, who in my house is a fucking angel child. Every fucking day I’m compared to him. Like “Oh (deadname) Why can’t you be more like your little brother! Hes younger than you! He does his chores, he cleans his room, makes his bed. Why can’t you be like him?”
I don’t fucking know! Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fucking be here. I have fucking school! “Why can’t you keep up on your chores?”, Maybe it because I don’t have the fucking energy to do anything once I’m home! I go to school, deal with freshman all fucking day, and then end the day in a fucking class I don’t understand! “Your grades are dropping, what happened to honor roll?” Maybe it because I can barely force myself outta bed! You won’t let me take breaks from school! I am fucking pushing myself too fucking hard and then I get stressed from fucking nothing! I’m sorry you want fucking perfection! and I’m sorry I don’t fucking know how to give it to you! I’m just a fucking Teenager!! I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing?! I don’t know why the fuck I’m here! I never fucking asked to be like this! You think I don’t wanna make you happy!? You think I don’t wanna make you proud!? I just don’t fucking know how. I’m sorry im the fucking demon of the family! The fucking black sheep or fucking whatever. Maybe i really am the devils fucking child, maybe I am fucking possessed.