I just wish my mom would try to understand my emotional pain. I wish she would support me emotionally. I wish she would tell me she loves me. I wish she wouldn't put me down. I wish she wouldn't judge me. I wish she could see the hurt she causes me. I wish I could hate her. I wish and wish and wish for the impossible when it comes to her. I know full well she isn't the type of person I wish she could be. I know she doesn't do it on purpose, it's more like she's blunt and doesn't have a filter when speaking. But what hurts the most is that I have tried to communicate with her, to try and get her to understand me, but it's like talking to a wall. It is so frustrating it makes me wish I could do the unthinkable and show her just how much pain her ignorance causes me. If only. . . too bad I just can't. My belief in God keeps me from taking that plunge I so desperately wish I could do. I can only keep treading forward with my life, trying to make the best of it.