I am in a lot of pain daily with my arms, back, knees and the pain meds only scratch the surface and then there is the emotional pain. I lost my mum suddenly without warning she was fine and then she collapsed and drop dead while sipping on her cup of tea and they couldn’t save her, she died of heart disease undiagnosed and that’s my fate also because I’ve been diagnosed but the meds for it make me ill and I can barely exercise because of the pain so I think that’s going to be my fate also but I’m okay with that I’ve made my peace with that happening to me but nothing I can do helps me come to terms with loosing mum. I promised her that I would be okay but I’m far from okay so I feel like I’ve let her down in a way. My dad within a few weeks of burying my mum ran off with some other woman. I’ve struggled my whole life basically and now I found out I have undiagnosed autism and my father never left me in school long enough to be diagnosed and so I went though life blaming myself for struggling so badly, that maybe I was lazy or useless. I now spend my days trying to survive one day at a time, I do my chores, I feed my pets, then when I’m finished I’m in tons of pain so I take my pain meds, I lay down and either watch movies or play games to pass the time until my demise from my health issues. My sister passed away when I was 1 years old and it finished my parents and I wish it had been me that died. I have no memories of her at all I wish I did. When I try to make friends they use me, manipulate me or just plain stab me in the back. That’s my life really, I don’t drink maybe rarely, I love music and movies and games abd I am an 80s kid I love the 80s and I love listening to songs on repeat until I wear the songs out or drive people mad listening to the same song. I wish I did more with my life I wish I had achieved something, I have all of this knowledge like repairing and building computers, I can do voice overs, but nobody ever gave me a chance in life, if you take anything away from my story, be kind to others and give a sister a chance and help her shine ?
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3 comments
Sorry to hear about everything that you’ve suffered through. It’s just a reminder of how fragile life can be. I hope there is something the doctor’s can do for you with the pain.
It’s also unfortunate to hear how people take advantage of others who are already suffering in life.
I don’t know what I would do without my parents having been there for me when I wasn’t able to afford to live on my own.
I hope you are able to make better friends-there are other people here in a similar boat. At least you know you’re not alone.
It is a cruel world we live and but there still some nice, decent people out there. Hopefully you will be given the chance you wish for in life….we could all use that too.
i can tell you one thing
in my book, Cassy you’re my sister in every way
i’m so sorry to know about all what you’ve gone and are still going through
i truly truly am
i want you to know your diagnosed condition,
no matter how serious,
is not necessarily a death sentence
i’ve read so many stories
and personally know people
who have had doctors tell them they got only a few months to live because of one illness or another
and continued to live on for decades
it’s not carved in stone
the way i see it
one should not concern themselves at all
about when or if they’ll die
it’s not something one gets to choose
instead, the focus should be on how we’ll choose to live until that moment comes
i’m here for you Cassy <3
tell me what i can do to help?
would does my sister need to shine?
<3 xo
oh,
what does*
not would
lol