10 days before I have to decide. 10 days. I’m scared. So god damn scared. Don’t know what’s up or what’s down. Just don’t know hot to cope. I’m just no good. Plain and simple. Tomorrow I’m going to ask the prof what she thinks. To ask her if I’m good enough. I think right now she’s upset with the progress of the project. I don’t think she is happy. Honestly, in my heart of hearts, I want someone to tell me I’m no good. Straight up. When I ask my parents or my team mates or whatever, they say I’m good enough. Cautiously. They say that I’m good enough, but they do so in a way where I think they are holding back what they think. I want some one to look me dead in the eye and say, you are not good enough. Because there is that tiny little sliver in my mind that thinks I can make it. That tiny sliver that holds out hope. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have even bothered applying. I would just say, absolutely not good enough let me pick this one. But because I am struggling, I don’t know. I’m hoping that the prof can set me straight. That she can tell me with complete and utter sincerity that I am simply not good enough. I don’t know. I’m scared. Scared from all the classes. Scared from all the projects. Scared of the real world. Scared of everything. I’m just no good. Plain no good.