I haven’t seen my grandma in forever. Recently I got in contact with some more members of my family.
She will be visiting in another town nearby to me soon. I can only afford the bus fare and not much else. She is rich and I don’t want to embarass myself in front of her because I’m so poor. Now she’ll probably think I’m an asshole for not meeting up.
I can’t afford to go out to eat at a restaurant, let alone an expensive one. Nor can I afford to throw money around…
I wonder if I should’ve just fibbed before she is about to come here and told her that I was sick? Or had to run errands on that day?
I do prefer to be honest, though.
5 comments
No mate! Go!
I really don’t think your current economic status matters more to your grandma than the Not-Too-Often, Not-Since-Forever chance to actually see & meet her grandchild!
I’m not a fan of being Push-y but I’d really urge you to go Wasp!
It will mean a lot to yourself as well, trust me.
If you feel like your Financial Image is really really a big deal in this meeting, one way to deal with it is to burn out that matchstick in advance: Try to get hold of some contact method & tell/send her that you’re really looking forward to meeting her but you also don’t want her to be disappointed by how things are currently going with you financially.. Something along the lines of “Grandma, if I could, I’d willingly & gladly spend a month’s salary to take you out to the best restaurant in town & get you a super special gift, I want this more than anything, but things really aren’t going well for me at the time-being & all I could actually afford is the ticket that will get me to see you.. I’m writing you this now, in hopes that you won’t be disappointed.. To me, seeing you is all what matters”
When you do go, don’t shy away from the facts.. Wear your hardships like a badge of honor..
If it’s a group lunch/dinner you can’t afford to be part of, just plain out say it:
Sorry guys, I can’t afford it, I just came to see Grandma, you guys have an awesome meal! I’ll wait outside
; )
If someone offers to cover you & you don’t wish to accept, just say: ‘Name’, Thank you very much, that’s so kind of you but I can’t accept it, (I insist,) you have an awesome meal !
No matter how self-caused one’s negative financial situation is, I don’t believe it’s something to be ashamed of.. it’s part of life to be struggling in securing one’s own livelihood, some people take longer than others, some people get support others get disasters to deal with, that’s just existence, there’s no shame in any of that.
Did I say “Wasp”!
XD
Sorry Wisp, it’s the end of the day for me here & I’m just awfully tired..
Just be honest and say I couldn’t afford to see you and apologize, if she’s normal she’ll be understanding.
Also if you see her, she might leave you some money in her will.
If your grandmother cares more that you can’t afford to go than that you want to go, she’s a worthless human being. Don’t perpetually mooch, but always be there for the people who are important. Let me know if you find that path.
Never mind, she offered to cover the costs of the restaurant. I still feel awful though.
I’ll give her a little present. I haven’t revisited this post because… It’s embarrassing
Sorry.