Throwback to my first post (2017): Why I hate my life REMASTERED

Been four and a half years since my last post, so hi there, I guess?

Just now I reread this post and felt that things hadn’t aged well, so I’ll be going over every bullet I put in here. Why? I mean, why not? I do not really care if anyone reads it or not, but I thought it would be interesting for myself to do. Ok, but then why bother posting it? Just in case someone would find it entertaining, I guess?

Here is why I hate my life
– My school life sucks (the only decent thing are my grades)
This one didn’t age well at all. Now I am a 2nd year student at a university and my grades are terrible even though I study a hell of a lot. Rip to that, man.
– I’m a worthless and retarded 17-year-old boy
Cap, now I am a worthless and retarded 22 year-old lmfao
– Even shit is worth more than I am
Still hold truth, brother.
– I have achieved nothing in my life so far
Still a fact! Spoiler: you never will btw, trust me.
– I find myself ugly (Maybe it’s because of my low self-esteem?)
That’s because you ARE ugly! It’s not the self-esteem, but a fact.
– I won’t be surprised if I have some kind of depression (I haven’t done any tests yet, so that’s why I won’t say that I have depression)
Ding ding ding! I was diagnosed with it four years ago and have been taking anti-depressants ever since. They help, keep taking them. They don’t work right away though, mine took almost a month and a half to start showing decent results. Don’t give up on them.
– I am sure that I have some mild – high level of OCD (I shower a lot, I wash my hands a damn lot, I check if the door is closed like 100 times a day, same goes for the windows)(Same here.. haven’t done any tests yet, but its kinda obvious)
Not diagnosed and it got a lot better. An actual positive point? Surprising, I know!
– I suck at everything. Example: drawing,..  (And yes I do practice a lot)
Still factual, won’t change, no matter how hard you try.
– Physical pain (I have a lot of health problems, like pain in my chest, weak legs, a lot of headaches,.. Medicines don’t work and the doctors don’t know why I have this..)
Still factual, probably won’t change either. At least my chest pain went away, so that’s a positive?
– I cut myself with scissors, stab myself with a bread knife and hit/kick the wall to distract myself from this shitty life (I only get bruises from stabbing myself)
No longer do this, but I have actually had the thought of doing it again two days ago. Coincidental much?
– I suck at being social (yes, I have tried talking to people on multiple occasions, but they either try to talk to me as little as possible or act like i’m not there )
You got even worse, buddy, you are a social wreck. Accept your fate and move on.
– My crush will never like me (She still likes my friend.. like seriously, he isn’t interested in her, but she still can’t forget about him. Oh and I forgot to say that she’s liked him for a couple of years) (And sadly enough she is the only person who has actually treated me as a normal person, even though she barely knew me)
Hey, someone did confess to me once! But things didn’t go so well and I haven’t had anyone else since, have had a hard time falling in love ever since too. Surprisingly, I actually didn’t show much of my depression to her and that was probably the only period, though not only because of her, that I had been looking forward to the next day.
– My dad doesn’t really care about me (that’s the impression I get, he never said anything like that himself)
Haven’t seen him in two years, next month at my sister’s wedding will be the first since. Don’t really care though, so no worries there bud.
– My mom told me that I make her depressed
She told me she would be able to keep living if I died, but not if my sister died, lmfao.
– I have some “friends”, but I think that some of them don’t really like me anymore.
Ding ding ding! After high school most will didge you. Surprisingly, the one you thought of as a friend the least will become quite a good friend! He’s a good person, gotta appreciate him. no homo, man, don’t worry. You got a good internet friend out of it all too, a magical goat, that you have been friends with for four years and still regularly talk to. There is someone else you will get along with well on the internet, but well, we have only been close, at least i think so, for six months. You have known her for 4 years too though.
– My stepmother hates me for no reason (I’m not talking about disliking me, but seriously hating me)
Did until the end! Dad and her broke up a year and a half ago though, but whatever.
– Many people who I know either try to do suicide or do suicide
No one else has done or tried to as far as I know.
– I play too much video games (but it’s one of the few things I’m decent at)
You’ll barely have any free time in uni and will have to give up on all your hobbies, including gaming, drawing and writing novels! What for? To get bad grades of course!
– Every time I go outside on my own when it’s dark, I get scared.. (Sometimes I even tremble/sweat a bit)(This all started after a couple of things that happened in my childhood)
That’s gone, no problems there.
– Sometimes when I see a robe, scissors,.. I think to myself how great it would be if I could kill myself with that object. (Btw, I consider doing suicide quite often, but I just can’t seem to do it)
Still happens sometimes, but the tremendous urge to do it isn’t there anymore for now.
– I can barely get out of bed nowadays
You sleep too little now, bruh, get some sleep for fuck sake.

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That’s that, a revisit of my first post.

Hope you all will find your happiness one day,

I hope those that were on this site with me back in 2017 are all doing good and well too, truly hope you all are…

Ciao!