I’m getting really bad, I don’t know if I’ve ever been this bad. Usually my scary thoughts are passing and its the feeling of emptiness that makes the bad times bad. I could count on myself that for every scary thought I would have a good one. Lately the bad thoughts have been lingering longer and are more violent than usual. My thoughts that I could hurt others are getting more real and I feel myself slipping away. The thought of killing myself has always been in the back of my mind but now it’s actually an option.