Still Lost

I got out of the hospital yesterday. I was there for almost 2 weeks at that point. Most of it spent in the ICU. It was awful. Being hooked up to vital machines and IVs. Being told to eat shitty protein drinks and foods. Being woken up at night to take medication. I hated it it. 2 weeks of my life spent chained to a bed not being able to work. It made me anxious that I’m behind. I’m still anxious. I was already feeling bad about all this, but now I’m teetering back and forth between panic and sadness. I don’t know. Usually I have a lot to say, but even now I feel like I don’t have a lot of room to breathe. That’s how bad it is. I don’t even have words for this place. I just hope I can survive this.