I can see who I need to grow closer to. Who uplifts me and gives me the most life. Who drives me to my best self. Who i forget myself in the company of.
I just feel terrible seeing as well those people who I must move past in order to pursue a deepening of those relationships. Those who still deserve love and my caring. I see that they will not be best for me, despite how they may need me.
My mind wanders to the question- Is that why I feel unrequited in such of the good company at times? Because I am unhealthy or undeserving (?) of such closeness?
Who am I to ask for closeness?
What goodness do I spread, which justifies such intimacy and caring of myself?
my mind wanders still…
Promiscuity? Is it such a detractor? Am I maiming myself in search of explorative means? Who do i hurt by it?
What becomes of my sentiment? How doth that so seem to mine queridos?
Look, I’m very grateful to have moved on from the harmful landscape I was ever mired in before. I…
I am never. Ever going back.
But these people I seek to know better. Some barely know me. I just wish I knew the next step. Am I a coward for not looking hard enough?