I hope I can just make sense of things

I keep on trying to write down my thoughts. I think that by writing them down and trying to piece them out, I’ll feel better. I know this isn’t the case. It’s almost time for me to go to school again. Every day closer just makes me more anxious. Will I be able to pass my graduate courses? Will I be useful in the lab I’m supposed to work at? Will the internship work out? If this and if that. On and on and on. It drives me nuts. The anxiety is like a poison. It wells up and makes me sick. I just don’t understand. I keep trying to tell myself that things will be ok and work out, but that other half is just so strong. Lately all I can think of is how easy it used to be and how funny it was that I complained about those times. Right now I probably shouldn’t be complaining. Others have it worse, but even still I complain and get scared. I prayed to God recently. That’s how scared I’ve become. I don’t know if that will effect anything. As I look at this all I see is word vomit. Even this previous sentence doesn’t seem to make sense. Whatever. I just really needed to put something down.