Earlier this week, wednesday, I went to a job fair, and it felt relatively good
the problem is that since then, I’ve been feeling more drained than usual. Even now, two days later, having had two decent nights of sleep, and some really strong coffee. I feel like I’m gasping. Like I just ran a mile. I’ve got a weird numbness in my dominant hand. I’m fully aware of things I could work on…. but I feel so very tired, short of breath.
It’s such a depressed feeling, being physically and emotionally drained to this point.
Earlier this week, I got a message from the non profit that’s been managing my treatment. They wanted to help me get connected to a new therapist, which is probably the thing I’ve tried the hardest for in the last month…. and I keep telling myself I’ll catch my breath, I’ll call them back…. but the weekend comes around and I didn’t do it.
I’m trying, for pity sake. it just doesn’t matter, I come up short, and it would take a major injection of some sort of goodness to restore me to who I once was.
I hope you find some sort of relief.
Not to oversimplify a complex problem, but have you considered that you might be dehydrated? I say this because I also rely on coffee throughout my waking day, and coffee (a diuretic) has a nasty way of dehydrating us, leading to lethargy if not outright pain. Think of how you feel when you’re literally dehydrated, say during a workout, it’s just like you described: tired, short of breath, drained.
I’ve only recently started addressing this, forcing myself to eat 1 raw fruit with each cup of coffee. I think it helps…. or at least it doesn’t make things worse.
Other than that petty piece of advice, I hear ya. When you’re barely hanging on by a thread, something like a public event (even though at the time it may feel invigorating) can wipe us out for days. I once read about the phenomenon of suicide occurring immediately after “happy” occasions like birthday parties, nights out with friends, etc where the suicidal person was observed to be in great spirits. The article proposed that the good spirits are indeed genuine, but the exhaustion afterwards is almost like a drug crash and things get unpredictable. In any case, I hope you can give yourself some much deserved downtime. A job fair is a huge accomplishment, just like a physical workout but for the mind. Let yourself be exhausted, you earned it.