My friend can fall asleep in midst a second, even during our conversations and already at like 9 pm, while I lay awake in bed for hours until the birds start to sing at 4 am. I’m such a night crawler and society screws me because of it. I’d like to see the successful morning people stay up til 7 am like I do *sigh* sadly there’s nothing for me out there.
I’d like a chance to see, whether I’d be happier when living and working at night. Maybe my depression really depends on this. I’m tired all the time, I stress myself because I need to be somewhere and there’s days where I skip it all to keep sleeping. Society steals my rest and I just can’t do it anymore…
Even when I was in the clinic I couldn’t fall asleep, even with meds that made me close my eyes during the day. They said to take them before bed then – funny thing is, they don’t tire me out at night. I was wandering around and using the art room to draw during nights and the nurses always looked at me sternly. Even spooked them sometimes accidentally. This has happened at every hospital I was at, the nurses looked at the clock and were annoyed having to care for my needs. It’s even worse if you have a roommate, when trying not to wake them and pretending to sleep, while you’re contemplating what lunch will be like tomorrow.
I went to bed last time at 6 pm and slept until 9 am. So the adults telling me, I should lay down earlier, kinda failed with that logic.
While writing this, it started raining, I haven’t showered in almost two weeks ’cause I was feeling ill and probably depressed (and actually I don’t even care) and I have to get up in 40 minutes. Great.
3 comments
Insomnia is a recurring subject I’ve noticed on SP. idk if there’s ever been a study linking insomnia & suicide but I’d bet every penny there’s some correlation. But I believe—actually I know firsthand—that night owls can not only survive but thrive and be happy. I’ve had insomnia all my life but there was a time when it was awesome. I lived in the city and used to go urban exploring every night, mostly abandoned places, high places like rooftops and parking decks where I could get a great view. It was great to be alive.
I attribute this to 2 things, one is vigorous exercise (skateboarding) and the other is the mental exercise of exploration, experiencing new things and learning.
They say exercise and travel are 2 powerful ways to beat depression and I got a huge dose every night. So the point is, insomnia can really be a gift.
Unfortunately not many of us have the luxury of having vast, unexplored terrain to explore every night. Most of us are stuck every night staring at the walls and overclocking the hamster wheel in our heads. That’s a recipe for depression if not suicide. Think of it, it’s like being subjected to solitary confinement and sensory deprivation for half your life.
I think you’re onto something with drawing & creativity. In a sense it’s like exploration if you can really lose yourself in it. Are you still able to do that?
I could write pages of sleep tips, I’ve struggled with sleep most of my life, and right now I’m doing the best I ever have outside of having economic incentive.
The one thing I’m seeing, that I would correct (not that you necessarily should) is that laying in bed awake actually makes insomnia worse. I can’t do it anymore. I try to go to sleep for 30-45 minutes, no luck? I go somewhere else. My front porch is a favorite at night. It’s dark and quiet, I usually bring a book and a water bottle and try to lose myself in the narrative. If I start to feel tired, I try going back to bed. Years of practice means I don’t wake anyone when I’m up in the night.
Oh, the other things are that physical activities and showering help with sleep. Thermoregulation is very important.
However, you asked if someone could be successful if their best hours are overnight, and my answer is yes at least in two cases. Case 1; overnight facilities need security guards, some of them need night nurse aids, and I know from experience these kind of jobs are tough to fill. If you’re marginally competent and capable of staying awake all night, why not turn it into a resource?
The other idea is what I’m drifting towards; non schedule driven work. My career path is reading and writing software code, which really doesn’t have an ideal “time”. I plan to wake up when I have a daytime meeting, but otherwise just let my sleep float to where it serves me best.
as you referred to “adults” and your language skills imply post abstract thinking, I’m going to guess you are a teenager. That’s good news, because teenagers often have hormone fluctuations that mess up their internal clock. The problem you have is one very common, though the severity may not be. The reason it’s good news is sometime in your mid 20s sleep might start coming easier.
that’s me inferring things though. Make the best of the time you’ve got. You can drive yourself crazy trying to be other people, but the only person you can be is you.
ah, a front porch would be nice to have. or a house for that matter.
>.<