I’m miserable and I just want to go back home and pretend I don’t exist. I can’t really talk to anyone right now. I just feel so horrible. Last night all I could think about was how pathetic and ignorant I am and how I need to die. For the first time in awhile, I took something to help me sleep, because of school today and just needing to get away from my head. I woke up. I’m just out of it right now. I’m just so done with life.. life doesnt seem to need me and I dont want or need this life. I’m just done… I cant handle anymore. A week flew by and it barely felt like a break. I mean it did, but it didn’t. I just cant do this anymore. I’m done. I don’t want to cause anyone anymore pain, whether intentionally or not so. I’m a fuck up. I’m rot. I deserve all this pain and whatever more comes my way. At least… I’m not in denial about it I guess. That always helps resolve things that need to be done. I just doubt my existence is beneficial to this life anymore, in fact I believe the opposite. Theres already so much shit, I dont need to be adding to the neverending pile of rot that is the world. There is some good out there, but I’m scared I’ll fuck that up too, because that’s what the rot does. The only way is to get it out, in this case kill it, whatever. Kill me. I’m so done anyway this is becoming an unbearable cycle in my head.
Is someone doing this to you? I’ve noticed the times I feel pathetic & ignorant are when someone makes me feel that way. If people are doing that to you, they’re the ones who are adding to the pile of rot.