I use to come here a lot when I was depressed and suicidal. Just read, never posted. Trying to feel understood, and validated maybe. I’m in a much better state of mind now, and made a video about my personal experience. If you’re interested, I’ll add the link. I can’t promise anyone they will get better, that’s up to them. But I can promise you that there is so much more to life than what you currently think and see. Just keep in mind that your current state of mind might not be able to comprehend this, but that doesn’t mean it will always be the case.
Anyways, I wish you all the best in whatever you do.
Take care.
https://youtu.be/W3uP2ceo50k
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8 comments
wow thank you so much for that video. The part where you described your attempt in detail is really helpful… it’s the method I’ve been researching and planning. post mortem studies can tell you the practical details but nobody talks (lives to talk) about what goes thru your mind at that fatal moment. When running thru my dress rehearsals I’m in that state you described “completely neutral.. didn’t think much about it” and it’s easy to assume that’s how the whole procedure will go. But there’s that fear that things will turn on a dime once panic sets in.
I’m so glad you’re in a better state of mind. Do you think it’ll stay that way? Or do you still have lows that threaten to drag you back? What do you do when those hit?
ffs my writing is crap. I didn’t mean to imply your video is helpful in getting myself killed, I meant it’s helpful in making me think twice
I’m also glad it made you think twice. Please think more about it. When you think logically, suicide makes no sense at all. It’s only when we’re wrapped up in our ego and emotions that we want to escape so badly.
Well in my case, I have mood swings that last several months. My first “happy time”, I was in denial of my darker side, I was like “I will never go back there”. Then it got reallllyyy low after that. I had multiple half-wit attempts. But I was just living like a zombie and didn’t care much about anything at all. Now I’m in my second “happy time”, and I understand that it will come in cycles maybe for the rest of my life. My main focus now is preparing for when things do go back down. I’m glad you enjoyed the video though!
It’s so odd seeing the face and hearing the voice of someone on here. The anonymity of this place is something you forget after a while. You just think of usernames talking to you. It takes a lot of guts to share what you did. Thanks.
I appreciate your comment JDoe! And yeah, for sure. We forget that we’re all living human beings typing behind the screen. We can’t hide forever…
Nice. Your video may have saved someone. I’m glad people like you can come back and spread some light. I used to do the same, but lately I’ve been venting on here mostly. I went from suicidal, to fine, to sad and self aware. So, I hope you don’t go through the same. I hope you have a better experience. Nobody should feel all this pain.
Thanks for your comment! I’m just hoping to open up the conversation, because the main reason people go through with it is because they’re so isolated and feel misunderstood by everyone else. Just speak up about your problems guys. Those who shame you for it have more serious problems than you.
Sad and self aware isn’t the worst. If you’re truly self-aware, I’m sure you will eventually find some kind of peace of mind 🙂 good luck!