Nights

Sometimes it’s hard to fall asleep because the nights are the moments of pure silence that allow my mind to drift away and give space to my thoughts. I often spend my nights wondering how my life would have turned out if I made different decisions or if I was a different person.
Sometimes I dream of being loved and I love that feeling even though it’s just in my mind, but more often than not I dream about how my life could end at any second, I just stare at the ceiling thinking about how it wouldn’t change a thing in the world because time goes on, it doesn’t stop and as humans we are all meant to die at some point. I would just speed up the process. It’s the only thing that gives me comfort at night.