I used to be so capable, and did so much.
Now, I’m a shell of what I used to be.
I used to have confidence in myself, now I don’t.
Part of that has to do with manipulative assholes and gaslighters who purposely whittled down my confidence so they could control me.
Granted, I was never super super confident, but I had SOME confidence in myself. I want at least what I USED to have and idk how to get it back.
All these years of me getting battered by the world and by shitty evil ppl have crushed me.
5 comments
Well everything is going down anyway so…
I don’t believe ‘confidence’ exists. It’s more to do with not caring. When I was about 21 I was in this work related meeting one day with stakeholders, due to inexperience I was taking it seriously, I noticed my employer who was about 50 at the time had remained calm, after the meeting I asked him how he had remained calm, his answer which I have never forgot was ” If you knew the bullshit, mistakes and errors that goes on in this industry you would be calm too, you wouldn’t care”. He was correct, that has to be applied to every facet of life not just the workplace. When you let go of idealism and see the bullshit that goes on you won’t care either!
I don’t know. I wish I had the confidence from back when I was in undergrad. I know I didn’t start out with confidence, but eventually I managed to figure it out. Now I don’t have confidence in anything I do. Hopefully you can find it again.
confidence is kind of a trust in self…. so when you’ve let yourself down it takes time to build it back, it has to be earned. That’s my theory of confidence anyway, what I’m doing is trying to earn my own respect… not easy.
depends what type of confidence. For social confidence, the thing that worked for me is not using social media, not watching porn, and reading fiction. Either from desperation or some natural process, you stop caring what people will think about you. Well, in my experience. I guess it’s being objective like Rainwatch said. Mm, it’s like jumping into a pool. Before you go, it seems scary, but after you get in, it’s natural.
For stuff that isnt social, I’m not sure. Practice, probably. Or the same idea of not caring.. being relaxed or so. It is easy to say but hard to do… I try to stay conscious of my breathing at least. If I feel myself getting nervous or anxious I take deeper breaths, and always through my nose.
I’m still getting a hang of things though.. I feel out of touch with the world.