I finished a show, Violet Evergarden (the character I drew above) yesterday for my movie class. It was very good, very beautifully animated and great soundtrack, the plot and the characters were awesome, definitely wanted more, but it’s probably a good thing the series is so short. Basically, Violet was raised in the military and taught to have no emotions/feelings or at least don’t show them, and everyone just considers her a tool. The Major, however, was the only person to treat her like a human and cared for her, and right before he died in an explosion in the war, he told her “I love you” and a big part of the series is her trying to find out what that means, along with understanding people’s feelings including her own. It also has the war guilt, survivor’s guilt, etc. Oh, she also lost both of her arms (she has metal/mechanical hands) and she’s only 14. It’s very good, but sad. Take it as you will, I guess.
Also, I was only about a week old when I found out there’s an Animal Crossing movie? So I found it online last night (a fan dub, official English dub wasn’t ever made). It’s a cozy feel-good movie, a coming-of-age story. The main character trying to find her dream and talent is relatable to me. It was fun to notice all the details (there was a LOT) I also really enjoy the animation of it (making it already better than most if not all live action video game movies) and overall, it was just a good watch. It’s not the best thing in the world, but it serves its purpose, at least for me.
This upcoming week is my last official week of school. We have lots of trips and a big breakfast on the last day, and then I suppose graduation practice, and that’s it. The last month flew by, and I felt numb for a lot of it. It’s overwhelming, especially having to consider the move and I’ve still yet to apply, because my dad and I still need to get some stuff done to be able to do that. I haven’t really felt excited about any of it. I feel a little better (ish) about it now, but I’m not really glad or excited, I just want it to be over. I’m still a child, I’m still pretty dependent and scared of everything. It’s pathetic of me, and it embarrasses me to admit that. It’s just a lot and it’s all about to come so fast. I’m worried that I can’t bring myself to face it, and I’m just going to be a dumb little shit for the rest of my life. A lot of change is coming. Yaaayyy (can’t you hear my totally not sarcastic enthusiasm? ahaha) On top of that, I’ll have to find someone, an actual therapist, I guess, since I can’t just talk to my school counselor forever.
On some lighter notes, a bunch of 5th graders in my mentoring class gave me a paper saying I was the best aide ever with their names signed on it. One girl made a little paper badge that said the same thing, but with my name on it, and I wore it all day. Another girl drew me a little frog with a mushroom hat :’) It was very sweet, and very surreal, I must admit. Strange. But not in a bad way. I barely ever did anything in that class, like I mostly played on my switch (due to the class it was they didn’t need my help much, plus I couldn’t help with math anyway, even at my age). Speaking of math, my math teacher gave me a little giraffe stuffie that can snap onto my wrist. I always drew giraffes on her worksheets, which turned out to be her favorite animal. I remember she said it always made her happy to look at them, so I was always sure to do it on every single worksheet. So she kept me after class for a minute and gave me the little stuffie. Oh, I did draw her one final giraffe as well. I hugged her and thanked her for dealing with my slow, stupid ass, and went on my way. It’s just crazy and overwhelming now.
Well, now we’re at moms for the weekend. I woke up feeling a bit low, and tired as always. Can’t really shake it off. I don’t want to go into a lot of detail about how I’m feeling, at least not right now. Trying to stay distracted as much as possible. On better things. There’s just so much shit. But it’ll be fine I guess. To the sorry soul who read this, thanks so much. Caring enough to read through or reply means a great deal to me. I hope everyone on here has a good or at least fair day, and that everything ends up okay for you all.
Nice drawing. I’ve heard of Violet Evergarden but never tried watching it. I’m particular about the shows I watch. I saw small clips of the animal crossing movie. Suprised there’s not an official dub.
Graduating High School is something. I don’t remember much of my final days as a high schooler. I got detention for the first time ever on my last week. Other than that, I don’t remember much. When you move on to the next stretch of your life, things feel different but also kind of the same. If you stay in school that is. If you go ahead and get a job, I imagine things are quite different.
Yeah I get what you mean. The fear of not knowing what to do when you finally “grow up” . I’m 24 and I still don’t feel like I’ve got it together. Like I don’t know how to simply “exist”. Everyone always says that nobody really knows what they are doing and what’s going on, but some people must, right? Otherwise how does anything even remotely function? Hope you are able to get a better handle of it than I ever did.
Glad those kids liked you. And your teacher sounds kind of nice. Hope everything turns out well for you in the end.
It’s a pretty good show if you would ever be interested, but I totally get what you mean. I was pretty surprised too, apparently they were going to but it never happened.
Do you remember what you got detention for? Yeah I’m not sure I’ll remember much either, other than stuff I’ve mentioned and certain people suddenly talking to me more. I’ll be going to school so I guess it’ll be somewhat similar, but it’s still daunting to me anyway ’cause I’m dumb haha.
Simply “existing” really is difficult. I agree, I do think someone has to know what they’re doing, at least a lot of what they’re doing.
Thanks, I hope things turn out well for you too.
I got detention for missing/being late to too many classes. Depression really hit me hard that year and I remember times when I would just stay home because of it. Eventually the all got counted up and they got me with detention on the last week.
Existing is hard. Being a “grown up” is hard. I hope you are a better learner that I am. You might consider yourself “dumb”, but I know a lot of “dumb” people who managed to really figure out their lives.
That sucks. I’ve never really liked how schools are on attendance policies/tardiness. Like to that extent.
I’m scared I wont learn and I’ll just suck at everything I try to do, a lot like now.
I understand that fear. I hope you find your thing and that you’ll be able to live a happy life because of it.
I watched that show some time ago. I don’t remember anything about it, but well, your drawing looks good, you seem quite talented. If it’s your final year in school (it seems so from your post) , good luck with your exams. And with whatever comes after 🙂
Thanks so much