So the other week I went to get food (unsuccessfully) and had to walk a bit. Saw a storefront called “The Cutting Room.” It was dark and closed (night time) so I didn’t know what is, but my immediate thought was cutting/SH or cutting/butchering place. Turns out “The Cutting Room” was just a haircut place. But funny how my first and second thoughts are so damn dark O_o
I mean it’s not funny but how are we supposed to be all sunshine and roses when we instinctively think certain thoughts? It’s not as if I haven’t TRIED to change my thoughts. All attempts have been unsuccessful. You cannot change instinct or automatic thoughts. You can tell your mind to think happy happy sunshine stuff AFTER your initial thought, but your initial thoughts are automatic.
Like how do we not be so dark and morose? Think of horror or crime writers for example. These people automatically think certain things, and it just comes to them. Hell, they’re probably the few people that are darker than me.
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It’s a brain chemistry thing – the more you think along certain lines, the more you those thought patterns become deeply ingrained and so you keep thinking along the same negative lines. A vicious cycle.
This is why my recreational drug use is so important to me. MDMA and LSD encourage the ‘breaking’ of these patterns, causing a kind of brain reset and allowing the brain to create new pathways of thought. Australia became the first country in the world to legalise the use of MDMA and LSD for PTSD and depression theraputic treatment a few months ago. Other countries will soon follow.
Unfortunately, outside of Australia, there’s no way to get drug assisted therapy yet. That’s why I have to do it myself. Of course I would never recommend anyone messing around with drugs if they didn’t know what they were doing. I’ve a lot of experience in that department. Note that no other drugs are really useful for therapy so don’t even bother with coke, booze, weed or opiates. They are coping mechanisms which often lead to addiction. It’s really just MDMA and LSD that have any benefit. Some research also suggests ketamine is useful for depression, but based on my personal experience I would say no…
I usually amp up the dark thoughts until they’re silly, black humor helps a lot. So I would continue down that thought of the cutting room as a SH emporium. How would that work? Obviously they’d provide the implements, you’d have to sign a hell of a release before engaging in that activity.
but what would they do with all the blood and skin cells? Not fit to give to a blood bank I’d wager. Maybe fertilizer? Or maybe there are artists that work with blood?
then I think well there’s a certain level of depressed to go to a SH parlor, but what about working there? That’d be especially bleak
instantly my mind goes to fast food, which I have to be relatively defeated to go get, and the people that work there, they’re working hard for very little money, it’s got to be bleak.
People are amazing, the things they’ll do to pay the bills and be productive. Then I think I should be studying those people, because they clearly have figured out the secrets of life the rest of us are lacking in.
a SH emporium eh? makes for an interesting horror short story.
Does being a cutter require a person to hate themselves to the very bone and soul?
I know cutting can be used to hurt other people/show you they’re angry. I just can’t, like. It hurts so bad. D:
When I watched Rain on Me, I was like “Yep :I”
Stabbed er leg.