I miss her so much. I wish I could hold her. The girl in this reminds me of her. I’d call her, but she’s always so angry. I like hearing that she’s doing well. No self harm. Going out, making friends. Heals me.

My power’s out. Gonna be holed up here for awhile. My dogs love it here. If they’re happy, I am. A black retriever and border collie. I love how they smile.

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I commented that Gaga was trash for comping “drink it” when I said I was drinking poison bc of all the hate she spread. She really should fuel up on coke, booze and hide in a closet with messed up people that “slap her around for being a woman.” Away from good people.

:I feels nice. It’d be different if she wasn’t in the 1% or given special privilege at the white house. (I hope someone bugs her stuff and messes with her knowing she’s on crack.) But shrug I mean what’s the difference, she’s on crack. I drank it that day. Not enough because service workers showed up and closed the road. What a trash human. Spreading a rumor that I was a predator and racist, white trash. Because she “felt like it”

It really went to my head. Maybe after today (07-05-23) I can just accept that some things in life are harsh and unapologetic, like how the officials handled the girl’s death with carelessness and zero respect. No apologies. Life’s frostbite. You know what Gaga comped in after that day? Same stuff. No apologies. It remained, “grow up, you’re so effing ugly/annoying/doctor” at the end of 911

Til the migraine ad came out. A reminder of life’s frostbite. It still hurts. But that’s how it goes. I’m not alone. Surely, I’m not, despite how she tried making it feel. I’m not even sure why.