I’ve thought of something truly awful, probably my worst idea ever, some really evil actions that would feel amazing to execute.
but they’re all bad ideas. Why? because I had them. I’m wrong, I wake up in the morning wrong before I even thought, because I thought, how dare I?! I tell you I’ve got a lot of nerve, with all this thinking.
To be fair, it’s entrapment, I was told to think. All my training led me to believe that solving problems was a way to decreasse suffering. So even in my awful ideas, I’m trying to decrease pain, if not mine, someone’s.
I feel so inept, so useless. I almost want to do these horrible things just because I think I could succeed at it. My ask, I felt, was so low, I just wanted to earn enough to pay down my debt and keep myself alive. Too much. So then I just wanted to keep myself alive, too much. Anyone who says this is a temporary problem hasn’t been stuck in Oklahoma.
So what can you do? What can anyone do? Productivity is locked away, the means to work is a market cornered by the rich. So you get rid of the rich, right? That’s how you solve it, taxation….. aparently even THAT is too much. I propose doing horrible things to rich people, such that they either decide to stop being rich, OR they look after their fellow man. I’m thinking there’s a minimum amount of carnage and pain that it would take to get the message across.
bad ideas. Everywhere I look are bad ideas. I’m not cruel enough, that’s the real issue. What I really needed was my current intellect AND a childhood dominated by abuse. Not that I’d wish abuse on anyone, even myself. As I said, bad ideas all the way down. I was set to lose when the game started, I’m only realizing that now.
2 comments
I definately have dreams of kicking in the teeth of a lot of rich people. It would be so damn satisfying to spit in their smug fucking face. Especially that australian prick that said the unemployment rate should reach 50 percent so that employees learn that they “need” their employers and not the other way around.
I hope somehow things start going your way. Whether it be luck or skill or something, I hope you manage to find yourself in a good position. Bad ideas ain’t that bad.
I mean, if it’s helpful to you, the school of thought that I personally follow describes a way that you can A) fight the fuck back against the ruling class and B) not have to be a total sicko. Like just not have to be absurdly violent and cruel. Dual Power!
By building a support network to take care of each-other ourselves, we can undermine the ruling class from beneath. Mutual aid, building community and union organizing are imminently doable, tangibly put control over our own lives back into our own hands, and therefor steal it back from the ruling class and state-capital.
Seriously there’s so many people (mostly anarchists, honestly) that have thought and written about how ‘okay but being violent to get rid of this power structure? really not a good idea. practically, morally, etc. so what the fuck else can we do,’ and there have been for over a century, if you wanted ideas.