How does one NOT be angry at bitter when their whole life they’ve been screwed time and time again? First by birth- who you are born to is the NUMBER 1 factor- if your parents are rich or poor as fuck, or nice and loving vs abusive and harming. If you are born to shitty parents who abused you and were poor af, you are so screwed from the get go.
You are either set up for success or failure from the moment you are conceived. You either have doors opened for you or have little to no opportunities. Intelligence, hard work and meritocracy are myth- it’s almost impossible to make it out of poverty. And if you grow up with abuse, your mind is fucked for life. Not saying it’s impossible to have a happy life, but not very likely.
Look into anyone who’s committed suicide. Or are in jail for crimes or murder. Most grew up either in poverty or abuse, and usually both. Not to say rich ppl aren’t prone to depression and suicide, but the rate is much much much higher by orders of magnitude the poorer and abusive the childhood was.
Anyhow, long story short, how do one NOT be angry and bitter? Yes, it’s so easy to say “don’t be angry and bitter, it doesn’t help you.” Yes, I KNOW that. Yet, it’s not like a jacket you can just take off. Just like depression, it doesn’t just lift as soon as you say “I’m happy” or “I’m not angry and not bitter.” It doesn’t just go away, and no amount of “trying” has helped. It’s just like all the advice on not being depressed- NONE of that shit makes the depression go away.
Anyhow, I’m beaten and battered. I feel like I can’t escape my fate. I’ve tried so hard to escape the abuse and poverty, but it only gets worse the older and sicker I get.
“Perhaps more than anything else, life’s unfairness can lead us to a sense of deep resignation, a feeling that all of our strivings are for naught.” That is exactly what’s happened to me. I feel too old, too sick, with too many problems, to fight it anymore. It’s been 4+ decades of a shit life. And I’m fucking tired.
Yes, life isn’t fair, but FUCK LIFE. Just bc we know life isn’t fair doesn’t mean we can just dismiss it simply by saying “life isn’t fair.” If life were fair, many of us wouldn’t be where we are- unhappy and depressed.
And it’s not just being born economically disadvantaged to shitty abusive parents. It’s also those who bust their ass at work yet still don’t get anywhere in life. Some of you on here are on that boat. And you see others who don’t work half as hard living a good ass life.
Anyhow, what do I do? Being angry and bitter doesn’t help me. I know that. I also know it’s more harmful to be angry and stewing in anger. I know that. But I also can’t get rid of it. Trust me, I’ve tried every “advice” in all the self-help articles and books. No use.
I am stewing in anger and frustration. Bitterness at the unjustness of life. And the despair and hopelessness that I can’t get out from this shit life.
“Good things come to those who wait”- utter bullshit
“Everything will get better”- yeah, when? it’s been 4+ fucking decades of hell on Earth.
23 comments
I think we become bitter/angry because we also want to have a good life like most middle to upper class people but ofc with the situations we’re born into, it prevents us from having that same life.
That’s when we think about suicide…which ofc is totally sensible, but not easy to do.
But in reality, some of us here don’t really want to end our lives, we love life and want to live as well as many people do…it’s because we can’t we’re forced into this decision.
Ofc there are people with mental and physical illnesses who might never get better…so in a sense they’re even more trapped by life than those of us who are lower income levels.
At least with being poor there are ways to try to change your situation and make more money by getting better jobs or working harder….ofc getting ahead isn’t easy but it’s possible.
I know the feeling, 4 decades for you and 5 for me that were mostly wasted…just struggling to survive and hoping it’ll get better…but I have a feeling 10 yrs from now I’ll be still just ‘getting by’ and not really having a full life.
So that’s why I decided when I hit my 60s to end it if I’m in the same place as I am now…it hinges on my mom, since I want her to pass away before I do since nobody will look after her (aside from me).
Ofc I am working on changing my situation, but I don’t feel it’ll make any difference.
The trouble is that we have no rules or standards around having kids. We don’t require parents to have a house for example or a high household income.
So that’s why some kids grow up being very disadvantaged…esp. if they’re born to rotten people who are stupid and abuse them.
I only make exceptions for those who are in love, feel they found their perfect match and have kids when they’re poor…they still shouldn’t but if they’re responsible people then ofc they’d find decent jobs so they can give their kids a good life.
I guess I’m speaking a little for myself since I’ve dated some girls in the past that I wouldn’t have minded marrying/having kids with even if we were lower middle-class. Actually it’d motivate me to find better work to put us in a better situation.
But realistically speaking, I wouldn’t want them to have the life that I did-all the needless suffering/misery/sadness/pain…so that’s why I avoided having kids altogether…I would only do it if I had a great job and we could afford a house and ofc had a good partner.
I should add kids are expensive too, when you factor in their costs, it’s over $200k per child over 18ish years…so about $10k/yr…not to mention higher education, if people don’t have that kind of money they have no business having kids.
My original comment went into moderation…hopefully it’s approved soon.
kids cost $200k/kid IF the parents gave a shit about the kid. i cost nothing bc i was given nothing. yup, people should NOT be having kids unless they can afford it and OFC my shitty parents only cared about having a boy so they kept popping out babies until they finally had a fucking boy. UGH.
Sorry to hear and I absolutely loathe those parents who don’t value females. It seems to be common in many cultures, like Asian and Arab…even in the West some parents prefer to have boys, I guess so they can work and bring in money and maybe look after the parents when they’re old…it’s very selfish thinking.
this is why i tell ppl i was screwed since birth, but ppl don’t understand that i literally was screwed the moment i was born female -_-
Ya totally…life is clearly harder being a female and that’s even before having to get pregnant which can have terrible consequences, including amputation (due to complications/infections) and death.
Lesser pay, being physically weaker than men, being stalked/harrassed and gets worse from there.
Though for men in some cases they have to compete/fight for survival with other men, have to go to war, are social outcasts if they’re fat/ugly (but it’s true for both sexes). Still women have it harder.
This is part of the reason why having a kid should require a license, or have rules like no one can have >2 children. Any idiot can have children, dumb ppl, poor ppl, abusive ppl, etc- and then the children grow up fucked up, depressed, become murderers, etc.
Take a look at ALL the serial murderers- how did they get that way? It’s bc 99% of the time, they grew up in abuse or neglect, usually in poverty as well. Almost ALL of them grew up this way. AND yet you have idiots trying to ban abortions, contraceptives, and advocate for idiots popping out MORE idiots. So stupid.
Like WHO do you think are popping out kids left and right? It’s not the educated, smart, responsible ppl with resources. It’s all the idiots who have NO business popping out tons of babies that are having them.
We’re in total agreement here and think alike on topics like this. I too believe that there should be some basic standards for people to have kids…including personal references.
At the very least it should be law to require parents to meet a minimum income level and competency tests to show they can be good, caring, reliable, safe parents.
I think it should apply to genetics also…if you have two obsese parents, then their offspring are going to be obsese also and suffer from the pain and humiliation of being fat. Sorry to say but this should apply to ugly people and retards as well.
Ofc opponents are going to cry about Hitler/eugenics…but without some basic, sensible standards, then it means you prefer the world we have now where people suffer in silence and hate their lives because we didn’t deter undeserving people from reproducing.
There should be ongoing monitoring too, to see that children are not abused. I’ve heard of far too many horror stories of kids dying in terrible ways. Like for instance one child (around 6 yrs old) was punished by being forced to drink more water than could handle and died from it.
Another child was told to run laps and their parents forgot they about her, so their daughter (around 9 yrs old) kept running for 3 hours in the sun and collapsed and died.
I believe such people should face capital punishment for doing that to kids…they’re monsters, who clearly don’t know what is reasonable, nor do they have competence or compassion to have kids.
Yes you’re exactly right…from what I’ve learned about serial killers, they’ve all had terrible childhoods…many were orphans, and ofc they got abused mentally and physically.
Imagine not having a family, people who love you, celebrate your birthdays, help you in a thousand different ways we take for granted…instead you’re thrown into an orphanage with other lonely kids and adults who take advantage of their position.
Ofc they’d become angry and then take revenge on the world that put them into the horrible situation they were in.
It comes back to the pro-lifer sh*theads and the like who mindlessly hold onto one stupid idea (life is precious) without any thought of the consequences and make other people’s lives a living hell….forcing little girls who were raped by their father/relative or stranger to have babies they can’t afford…that are a daily reminder of the abuse they experienced.
These people are so incredibly stupid and don’t understand basic biology that they believe a fertilized egg cell is instantly and magically a baby, like a newborn.
Fkn morons…and this is the basis they use to wage their war against pro-choicers…btw who happen to be the vast majority of us, over 70% last I recall who support keeping abortion legal.
Yet in the US right now, it’s the minority of these deranged lunatics who sneaked their way into power and imposed their nutjob ideology on the rest of us…so much for democracy.
I also agree about idiots having high birth rates. In Islam it’s highly encouraged for Muslim men to have 4 or more wives each pumping out 2-4 kids so that they can outnumber non-Muslims and take over their countries and impose Islamic rule on everyone.
They combine this with ‘hijrah’ or immigration (like we saw with the invasion of Europe recently) as well to increase their numbers, along with jihad (holy war) in order to take power and deplete the number of ‘unbelievers’/non-Muslims.
They’ve used this technique to successfully conquer 57 nations and counting. They’re trying to do that here in the West too and drag us all back to the 7th century.
Not to mention the regular (non-Muslims) esp. in poor countries who also have high birth rates because they know some of their kids will die off and expect the rest of them to work/support them.
If they had any common sense, they’d realize they’re born into a hellhole they can never escape and rather bring more lives into the world to suffer as they have, it’d be better for them to end their own lives instead. Fortunately some of them do that…but ofc not enough of them. At least in India they’re teaching the poor about contraction and encouraging sterilization.
The thing is that the rich like huge numbers of people because you have customers to sell your crap to and make them wealthy…so I think that’s partly why some people are on the side of increasing the human population.
*contraception (not contraction)
Corporations are in favor of a huge population. Yes, it gives them more customers but it also gives them more labor and cheaper labor. THAT is why corporations are in favor of mass population. Then they brainwash the masses, thru media, education, and especially religion, to pop out MORE fucking cheap labor. And idiots fall for that spiel.
Yes it is selfish to pop out kids just so that you can be taken care of when you’re old. Before modern times, before retirement homes, pensions, and paying ppl to look after you, ppl in the past had less choice. If they weren’t rich, they had no one but their kid taking care of them. Which still doesn’t make it right but it’s at least more understandable. Today’s populace shouldn’t be popping out so many fucking kids. I mean, if you’re not wealthy, you’re just giving your spawn a lifetime of misery, or at best, mediocrity. All so that YOU can be taken care of when you’re old.
But that also brings up how shitty the world is structured. Like if you wanted to create the most evil place, create a place where there’s diseases, poverty, limited resources, aging, and dying.
So all the religious nuts who say life is to be treasured and that Earth is a beautiful place- tell that to the last animal that got mauled and eaten alive. Bc we live in houses with electricity and have grocery stores, we’ve forgotten how cruel this “beautiful” Earth is.
People freeze to death. People die from heat. Drought. Diseases. Aging. Seriously, if there was a “creator” then this creator created the perfect hellhole for all the organisms. “Survival of the fittest” means you might get mauled and die any moment. Or be mauled and suffer with injuries until you die.
anyone with half a brain knows that having too many children is bad. so that leaves all the “breeders” who are either idiots or selfish, or usually both. i can understand 1-2 kids, hell, i’ll even let 3 slide, but fucking 4, 5, 6+ kids? Octomom and those 20 kid families? Fucking ridiculous! Unless you’re wealthy and can afford to “spread your seed,” ppl should STOP. Have your 1-2 kids. That’s all you need.
And not only that, research shows that when parents have >2 kids, many of the kids grow up neglected, abused, depressed, suicidal, etc. There isn’t enough time, energy, or resources to spread to so many children, and that’s even IF the parents are good loving ppl.
That shit sure happened to me. FOUR fucking children. And do you think she stayed home and took care of us? Fuck no. I was left to survive on my own at 7. Hell, her being gone most of the day was BETTER than when she was home, which was met with constant beatings and verbal abuse.
Oh, and I had a shit neighbor who had FIVE fucking kids + 2-3 grandkids + 2 fucking outdoor dogs. The grandkids were over almost every day during the winter. Holy fucking shit there were so much noise coming from them. That’s 7-8 fucking brats, little ones too, running around screaming in the backyard ALL fucking day and night. Plus the shitfuckers dogs who they leave outside 24-7. Endless noise. I wish they’d all fucking BURN in their fucking bbq pit that constantly sent smoke to MY place, almost every fucking night. Fucking asshats.
Anyhow, population control. We need it. Most of life’s ills is due to overpopulation- the constant fight for limited resources, the lack of space bc everyone is squished next to each other, the massive amounts of pollution resulting from all the food and products humans need/want. Oh yes, the lack of jobs, the lack of GOOD paying jobs, with benefits. Why pay ppl a living wage when you can pay them next to nothing, bc there’s tons of ppl to replace someone if they don’t want to be paid next to dirt.
I don’t get how ppl don’t know that having LOTS of children is just BAD. Well hell, it goes to the selfish principle. It benefits the parents to pop out lots of kids, even if society suffers, bc society picks up the tab, not the breeders, so the breeders don’t care as long as it benefits THEM.
bc India has learned from China. Doing a heavy-handed 1 child policy does not work, especially in regions where males are heavily favored. So India instead went about encouraging contraceptives and education, especially in the rural areas on how having too many children will keep you poor. And it worked. More countries need to follow that route, ESP the US. US especially bc of the fact that the US is HUGE, and has a massive population. How many countries are bigger than the US? Only China and India. USA is #3 in population.
It is a good point you raise about corps and the brainwashing they put everyone through to compete, keep working like a dog to generate more capital, while they make billions literally, they throw pennies our way and ask us to work harder.
It’s been this way ever since capital or wealth was created. Once you generate your own wealth then you just pay others to do all the dirty work and make even more money.
Still like the points you raised about the Earth is very relevant. I do agree maybe a few thousand years ago it made sense to have more kids.
Despite the hardship of being humans we’re the only intelligent life in the universe, that makes us unique and special. And the hope is that we can get everyone to the level of ‘comfort’ we have in the West.
I believe if played right, with good governments, we can actually create something close to a utopia for most humans. Look at Switzerland, they have a very high pay rate, but not crazy inflation…so people can have great lives.
Work is necessary, we need people to run utilities, restaurants, etc, etc…so we have a good function society…so everyone will need to contribute…but it doesn’t have to be a hellish situation for people.
Jumping back, so ya it made sense when the human population was small to have a lot of kids. Humanity almost got wiped out, we were down to 5,000 people in the whole world at one time and if there were any serious catastrophes, we would’ve been wiped out.
But now there’s 7 billion of us. Unless a moon-sized rock hits us, we’ll be fine as a species for now, we should spread to the stars to avoid extinction. But anyways, there’s just way more people than we need.
You need your scientists, workers, health care, food grows, intellectuals, etc….but after that people become redundant for a good functioning society. So it is stupid for people who are poor or religious to have 20 kids to raise when they can’t afford it.
Ya exactly one can’t say life is ‘beautiful’ when there is so much misery, pain and suffering going around. It’s only beautiful for some people. Which is why I’m for universalizing Maid for all humans.
We’re thrown into the world without being asked if wanted to exist so by that same token it’s only fair we can be “thrown out” of this world if we don’t want to be here. Yet again it’s religious dimwits that are stopping that from happening but we’ll defeat them in time.
Totally concurred with your next post…”hell is other people” as Karl Jung once said.
Ya you’d think once you own a house you’d have peace, quiet, privacy, etc…but then you get rotten, scummy neighbors who make your life a living hell.
Anywhere you put people next to each other they’re bound to have major issues….unless you live in higher tax bracket areas, then they’re more civilized…educated people respect others and don’t have huge families to annoy others with.
Where I live I also deal with noise issues so I’m seriously considering renting a condo or townhouse next year…I would’ve preferred to buy, so you pay your own mtg but for the peace of mind, it’s still better than where I am.
I hate to ‘live on the edge’ and max out our income but I think it’ll be worth it…then I can focus on my projects again or maybe find a higher paying job.
Like it or not we’re in that rat race, you either stay in the same spot and suffer year after year, or you play the game like everyone else and climb that ladder till your life gets better and better hopefully.
I do believe my projects will pay off down the road, but it’s best to change my situation first…while moving is hell, if you’re improving your life it’s so worth it.
Ya for sure, India is doing it the right way, they realize their huge poor population is a drag on their country but they’re using sensible ways to control their population.
It might take them a century but I think they’ll get there. The large population wouldn’t be so much of a problem if their economy could support it and if they were able to modernize like the West.
What would be bad is for the cycle of poverty to continue decade after decade…they must break that pattern.
We in the West have serious poverty issues to, ofc not as bad, but we should be taking care of our poor. As my prof once said, it’d only take 1% of the GDP to wipe out poverty.
It’s the evil rich scum that don’t want to do it cause they want tax cuts and other incentives that benefit them.
“And the hope is that we can get everyone to the level of ‘comfort’ we have in the West.”
60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. No ‘comfort’ here in the US. -_-
yes, it’s all bc of the rich ppl’s greed that we have so much poverty. never have i seen such greed as in the last 15 years- since 2008. well technically it started after 1980 with Reagan fucking us over, but the rate of squeezing the middle and poor have accelerated after 2001. Then 2008. Then 2020.
If you study all the recessions, EACH AND EVERY ONE was caused by the rich ON PURPOSE. They WANT recessions- that’s when they swoop down and buy up all the land, houses, etc on the cheap, after ppl have to sell due to bankruptcy, job loss, business loss, farm loss, etc
Basically what the rich do is cause a recession, the poor have to sell, then HIKE up the interest rates so that the avg person can’t buy a house, which leaves the rich able to swoop in and buy all the land, houses, and farms. Which is what they’ve been doing since 2020. Same story as 2008. They learned in 2008 how to do it so 2020 was so much more ‘efficient’ for them.
It’s the EXACT thing that’s happening in LaHaina. The rich badly wanted the natives land, who refused to sell. Solution? Set everything on fire, cut off water, don’t sound the alarms, and whala! If everyone dies, or is forced to move elsewhere, guess what? They can now seize all the land! Win-win for those evil greedy fuckers.
This is why I’m so fucking depressed. We live in an evil place with the most evil ppl in charge. And I am forced to live a horrible poor existence bc of them.
[60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. No ‘comfort’ here in the US. -_-]
I’ve seen vids of run down US cities, I can’t watch them for long because it’s so discouraging and sad…compared to those folks I’m doing well.
Nobody should have to live that way…but that’s the trouble with America, you have huge extremes of rich and poor, it’s getting worse, like Latin America.
At least in Canada/Europe (at least from what I’ve seen), the wealth is distributed more fairly and while we have our poor, it’s not as vast and desperate a group as it is in America.
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[yes, it’s all bc of the rich ppl’s greed that we have so much poverty.]
Totally agree…even Elon Musk was manipulating his own Tesla stock to get wealthier…he knew he could easily cause market swings by claiming Tesla was in trouble in one quarter, causing people to sell, then he’d buy it a low price and talk about how great it’s doing later on and just make a killing off fools who’d believe him until they caught onto his game.
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[It’s the EXACT thing that’s happening in LaHaina. ]
Thanks, the media didn’t clearly explain what was going on, but now it makes total sense…evil rich bast#rds at it again.
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[This is why I’m so fucking depressed. We live in an evil place with the most evil ppl in charge. And I am forced to live a horrible poor existence bc of them.]
Ya it’s not a game we can beat…not unless we ‘average’ folk could gang up somehow take state power and dis-empower the rich and then create a better system for ourselves.
The trouble is that there is so much division on the Left, so many nutjobs too, so we can’t get organized…. while the rich know their clan and that their interests are the same…to screw us over and get richer so it’s way easier for them to stay in power.
Hell one could dedicate and waste their entire life fighting against just one thread of evil in the world and get nowhere in the end, because there are so many people invested on the evil side, like the death cult of Islam and Christianity also, that one can’t make any difference on their own.
Same as fighting the rich…it takes lots of power, lots of numbers and a willingness to do what’s necessary to win. This is why few people ever try to fight, because it’s so hard…on top of just surviving and cobbling together a little happiness in one’s life.
Also there’s so much corruption out there too…that even if one started out being moral, with a good heart and you wanted to fight against evil, eventually you can be bought off by people who see you as a threat…or worse get taken out in an ‘accident’…think the Clintons.
But one is more likely to become a part of the system they once thought they were fighting against. It used to be illegal to take bribes/kickbacks but they’re all doing it in Congress…who’s going to punish them? They have all the power.
There’s nothing we can do but live a miserable existence, or at best, eek out an “ok” existence. Then go through the hells of aging, then slowly die bc death is slow and painful, unless you’re lucky to have a quick ending. And no, I don’t mean S–too much ppl fucking themselves up and living scarred and deformed for that to be an actual solution.
Revolutions take a LONG time. We haven’t the decades left for that to happen in our lifetime. And even if it does, we’d be old and dying by then anyway. And revolutions do NOT occur often. Which is why the rich know they can and do get away with everything. The ppl who BELIEVE a revolution will occur in the US overestimate Americans- we are scared selfish rats, willing to bite our neighbors rather than stand up and fight. Americans won’t fight. Hell, we don’t even fight for UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE, something that almost ALL first world countries have, except us. Hell, I’m not sure what first world country DOESN’T have universal healthcare.
Yes, Canada isn’t as bad off as the US. You guys actually have social services. I mean, I’m sure things are being cut over the past decades, but it’s nowhere near as shit as the USA.
The media doesn’t clearly explain what’s happening in Lahaina bc the media is the extension of the ruling class- to dispense whatever propaganda they want to feed to us. You won’t get the truth from MSM. MSM is in fact actively trying to cover up the Lahaina story. Out of sight, out of mind.
You have to go to independent podcasters and such to get the real scoop. Which is fucking sad we have to do that. And those podcasters who report the real news, usually get doxxed and demonetized. Or kicked off YouTube, FB, etc