I wish I was worse at getting out of bed….. and I’m not good at it. Lately I’ve been sleeping until noon, then I’m up until about 1 AM, wash rinse repeat. So that’s 11 hours a day asleep, and I prefer it, turns out
Today I was supposed to have a therapy appointment, and so I woke up at 8 AM. This was after waking up at least twice in the night, and every single time after a nightmare… so I dragged out of bed, got ready and drove to the appointment. Any other day, that’d be it, the sum of the misery associated with a morning appointment.
Not today! I get there, there are no parking spots. This lot is too small for the clinic it serves, and it isn’t the first or the last time I have dealt with that. This time though, really no spots, circled the whole building, every corner of that damn lot. Finally, I parked in front of a dumpster, and I thought that’d be the end of my trash day. Oh no no! It keeps on
So when I got inside, the elevator was at the top of the shaft. Two elevators in this building, but for the last two months only one has been working. It can take 15 minutes to get to your floor, via elevator. Climbing the stairs is faster, and so that’s what I did; five floors of stairs. I was out of breath, and a little POed. Okay, more than a little. Here I still thought that would be the end of it
So I check in for my appointment, which first off takes longer because the receptionist is training someone…. which is really okay, just salt in the wound, but not even competing with this next part; my treatment plan expired and they wanted me to go back to the first floor and update it……… so I’m not getting therapy, AND you think I’m going to spend more time in this miserable building? Ha! Well I’ll have you know I reviewed my therapy homework on self esteem, and I don’t hate myself that much.
Maybe that’s it, maybe it’s a new approach to assessing health, did I pass the f-ing test?!
so I said; “I think I’m going home.”
got back down to the car, had to calm myself down to drive, because I was fuming.
and now I’m finally home, and the moral of this story is; being awake sucks
If I had rolled over and gone back to sleep, I’d be better off, I wouldn’t even be awake for another hour and a half. Ah, what a lovely fantasy to imagine that’s how it went. You know what? living is the illness. Depression is the rational reaction
4 comments
“living is the illness. Depression is the rational reaction”
EXACTLY. And yet WE are the ones that are “sick,” not the idiotic gen pop who goes along with whatever bullshit mainstream society tells them.
“you will live in a tiny box and be happy” – Sheeple: “OK”
“you will work endlessly and have nothing to show for it at the end of the month every month, and be happy” – Sheeple: “OK”
“you will own nothing and be happy” – Sheeple: “OK”
“you will eat bugs and be happy” – Sheeple: “OK”
you think eating bugs is a joke? i thought so too until i looked it up. i thought it was stupid conspiracy shit by dumb ppl until i saw the rich really ARE investing in this shit. like actual $$$ being pumped into bug research and bug facilities. they’re trying to push the whole “eating bugs is nutritious” shit and “eating bugs is green for the planet” shit on us. it’s coming. give it 5-10 years. -_-
“living is the illness. Depression is the rational reaction”
All the “happy” or “normal” ppl think WE are the defective ones. But how can we be happy living in a world where we are being controlled like slaves, paid like slaves, surveilled like slaves? Maybe all the “happy” and “normal” ppl are the crazy and delusional ones?
There is REAL reason to feel depressed or hopeless, bc that IS the reality. If you are poor, if you are sick or disabled, if you live paycheck to paycheck (which is 60% of Americans)- you are delusional if you can still maintain happiness.
It’s like going to a prison and having 900 people hate it there, and then having 100 ppl who are happy to be there. Who are the delusional ones? The unhappy ppl or the happy ppl?
“Maybe that’s it, maybe it’s a new approach to assessing health, did I pass the f-ing test?!”
Congratulations. You took the red pill buddy-o.
I understand. I have a condition that fucks with my sleep too, so even if I sleep in I’m still dead tired, or tossing and turning for hours.
I work evenings because I figured that’s my clock, night owl type of person here, and it’s still not working.
What’s your normal schedule like? Like we’re you working night shift, normal 9-5?