Lately I’ve been playing a dangerous game with my sleep. I pull late nighters to do stuff for the lab or cram for an exam. The thing is, I can’t do that anymore. Lack of sleep is one of the major triggers for a manic episode. Even on medication, I could still be susceptible to a hypomanic episode. So then I start checking certain things about myself whenver I do late nighters. Do I feel tired, how is my mood, are my thoughts skewing towards delusions. When I feel extremely tired and have the same low self-esteem and anxiety, it’s a good sign. So now feeling bad is good. Weird how that is. Here’s a song I’m listening to on repeat lately. I binged Adventure Time so I could watch the Fionna and Cake series. I think it’s my favorite song from that show.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
1 comment
It remains interesting to see someone else dealing with manic symptoms, and having the same trigger I tend to have; missing sleep. Don’t judge me for it, I’m still terrified by that line after a few days of insufficient sleep. When I start to drift….. I go sleep for 12 hours.
I don’t think, though I don’t know, that keeping down works for avoiding mania. The problem I have is that anything that depletes willpower is dangerous. I quite literally need to keep a grip on reality. It’s all my effort these days, holding on.
but I don’t know, had I something in my life to do it for…. apart from reading, true crime videos and video games. I can’t justify letting myself fray for those, that’s just silly. For a job? IDK, I could see myself doing it. For school? Yeah, I’ve let myself go for school, especially pushing a deadline.
Keep us posted. If the strategy works for you, I want to know… because the time may come when there’s a project “worth it” to me. Not now though, sleep is my fast forward button for death, and I hit it hard every day.