Hi. Again

I didn’t think I’d see this website again. But I’ve been calling for death again. Things have become the worst, finally, when I have done so much to avoid this moment. I’ll tell you all on the internet a little something – I’ve been going to inpatients, housing and all sorts of shitty programs to avoid this moment. I’ve been calling for death out of revenge. All of you on here should pray and hope I go, because I’ve been making the people around me miserable with my cries. I’m paranoid even posting this online. Threatening suicide is all I have. Nothing can take me back to yesterday. I won’t go into detail but if you can see the difference in post time, you’ll know this has gone on long, and it has gone on long before that. All that running away to never get away. Now it doesn’t matter what I do. I’ll exhaust myself and everyone else around me until the end of time if I don’t try and do it. I might apply to MAID. That’s my best bet. I never really wanted to die, but death is the only acceptable response right now. I only care about lashing out now. I don’t know if I’ll post on here anymore but I probably will. My life from here on out is going to become a slow death. To all reading – I’m young and able. I’m not sure I’m in the same boat as you all, I discussed that before. I simply cannot deal with everyday life. Please wish that I die a worthy and painless death before I can ruin my life and the others’ around me.