Just to preface, I am thankful for my relative circumstances.
However recently I realized that life just isn’t that great. I can do without this. This somewhat took a bit off my back. I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot because somewhere I know, that it’s not because I’m sad that I would commit, but because there’s genuinely nothing in life that would make it worth it. Sure, things are nice, but I can do without them, and eventually, I’d get tired of them. And again, I realized – not that nice. I just tell myself it is. I try really hard to attach […]
When I got over something else, something else majorly bad happened that I can’t get over. Just my luck. But it’s a little less daunting than the last thing. I opened up more about things, and it hasn’t gotten better, but at least there’s some more clarity. I feel like I should be even more devastated, but the relative scale of things makes me try to numb myself to it. I’m feeling pretty devastated already, but the trade off is that I’ve opened up more. Whatever.
By a miracle turn of events, my fears were unfounded. I just want to post this as an update. While things aren’t really that great still, I feel like I’m back from the brink. I didn’t post on here often when I was feeling a little better, but I want to post this still as an update. I’m thinking I need to do more work and hopefully going to see a counselor.
Chances are I’m in a situation that is not ever going to be in a state of recovery. It’s the nature of my situation or mental state that even most people I meet in an institutional setting or on this forum don’t really relate to me. People are pushing me to see a therapist when by all accounts, talking about my problems just makes it worse. To be pushed to that point really means I’ve hit rock bottom. As you can probably tell by my much earlier, previous posts, I’ve done had similar songs and dances for years. Let me tell you that this is […]
I didn’t think I’d see this website again. But I’ve been calling for death again. Things have become the worst, finally, when I have done so much to avoid this moment. I’ll tell you all on the internet a little something – I’ve been going to inpatients, housing and all sorts of shitty programs to avoid this moment. I’ve been calling for death out of revenge. All of you on here should pray and hope I go, because I’ve been making the people around me miserable with my cries. I’m paranoid even posting this online. Threatening suicide is all I have. Nothing can take me […]
The title. I’ve been circling around it for years, and I’m finally here. Not on the going through with the process, but the decision. And to think my astrological sign was going to get lucky from May 16 to the end of the year or more. What an astounding lie.
I never thought I’d post on here until I did. That’s the problem with me. I’m antisocial, but low-functioning. I test people to see if they will care when I act antisocial, and am surprised when they don’t care back. I don’t understand cause and effect. I say I want to end it when things don’t work. Would they ever have with my approach?
I am the most laughable member on this site.
I understand myself and my issue was perfectionism without the actual effort. I can’t do anything differently anymore. I am stuck and I make others know it. What will I do? Lately it’s been […]
Some Reasons Why People Kill Themselves | Psychology Today
Defiance, hatred, chagrin, misguided altruism and loss of self. You?
I’m an individual with narcissistic traits and I think about spite-killing myself all the time, but really it’s not about other people – I shouldn’t be here as my coping skills are so low. People have told me ending my life would be a bad decision (for someone with my life), but they don’t know how much I hate a lot of my life. I don’t wish a lot of harm upon myself, but if there were a pill or some easier way, I think I would be very inclined to take it way before my time. I have tried so hard to be grateful […]