Once again, drove to the office. Did not step foot in there. Went on another drive.
Wow am I fed up right now. I’ve completely lost the plot. Bought a lotto ticket. Won $2. Used it on a second one. Nothing. I hate gambling, but when things get to this degree, I’ve done it. Want to give in to the vices of alcohol and gambling to try to feel better, but of course, it’s the wrong thing to do in a situation like this. Which is why I avoid it.
If I can’t find a job that pays more, it’s pointless. I’m a bit desperate now to just leave that place.
I’m trying so hard to keep my pressure down but it is not working. I have family and I don’t want to throw my crap on any of their piles right now.
I did actually go to the gym. Physical exercise let some of the crap out. Still in a bad spot all things considered…