I feel so socially behind compared to my peers. Today, I overheard a girl talking about how she almost got caught having sex with her boyfriend. I heard another group of kids talking about a party they went to over Thanksgiving break. I’ve never done anything close to either.
I’ve never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. I haven’t even held hands with another girl in a romantic way. The only parties I’ve been to have been birthday parties, either mine or a relative’s.
I feel like I’m wasting my youth. I know that high school isn’t the end of the world, but I do wish I could have fun high school memories to look back on. I feel like I’m missing out on the experiences normal people have at my age.
I’ve joined two clubs so far, yet I don’t know anyone from either club on a personal level. Socialization doesn’t come naturally to me. I don’t know how to keep a conversation going when I’m spoken to. I know the basics like “ask open ended questions” or “build off of what the other person is saying” but I don’t know how to apply it.
My stutter and difficulty making eye contact don’t help either…
I’d feel better about being socially “stupid” if I had some redeeming qualities or some talent that justifies my existence in this stupid world. However, I don’t. I have nothing.
5 comments
Sounds like you should throw your own party. This would A) place you in a party so you can cross that off your list, B) get you out of your comfort zone, C) Create a situation where youre more likely to find romance, and D) Allow you to get practice socializing. If you throw a party, you will be invited to future parties. Even if you seem awkward socially, if you throw a good party, people will remember that.
Christmas time is right around the corner. Perfect excuse to throw a party. Invite the people you’re jealous of. Invite the outcasts too.
Only a suggestion.
Beyond that, remember always that positive outcomes cannot come from negative thinking.
If you fail, keep trying, and never stop trying.
Good luck!
Invite the people in your clubs
Thanks for your kind comment. I definitely won’t be able to throw a party though. My mother would never allow it. Maybe once I have a place of my own.
Depends on age, how common where you are at is. It reminds me personally of where I was in high school, it took me until near the very end to find a romantic interest, and while it gave me some social cred, it wasn’t that great. We made out, a lot. I got mono. Eventually it didn’t work out, that’s par for the course early on. Years later I realized she was really…… not a good match for me. Like had she not been hot, and I hormonal, would we have gone out? It was the first time my pickup game worked, I had to see where it went.
anyway, really really long story redacted; divorced by 22, remarried at 32, so the whole romance life wasn’t that great
I didn’t even go to a party until college…. and even then, it was about getting drunk and or high….. and there is always time for those things. I don’t think I’d be better off getting that younger. I don’t do them anymore either…… I guess you’ve got to do those while you’re still somewhat young. IDK…. stopped being young by basis of life experience by 25, and that was a decade ago.
Being social is a skill, which can be built up, but also has less use once you have it than it looks like from the outside. I hope my story gives my basis for it. Now I’m almost as introverted as I was as a teenager….. the difference being I’m more at peace with it. There’s a time for everything, to be social, and to be alone.
Another weird memory that clunked out of my head was talking to my first roommate, who probably had a similar social evolution to me; I asked him how he already had people around to do stuff with, and he said that I should go where people are doing the activities I want to participate in. Still not sure if he was really wise or if it was a blow off response. That being said, that’s who’s left in my life, the people I have shared interests with, mostly Dungeons and Dragons.
Interestingly enough, I did join a D&D club before, hosted by my local library. I was in middle school. It was very fun but I eventually quit as the other members stopped showing up, and it was incredibly awkward when it was just me and the DM.
I also joined an art club in my Sophomore year, but I quit after a while. I had (and have) no friends, and drawing by myself was incredibly depressing.
Then—and now—I wasn’t confident enough to approach anyone. That’s my main problem, combined with the social awkwardness.