after almost a month of no therapy…. today I arrived to my appointment to find myself meeting with my social worker, which is fine…. she tells me that my therapist no longer works for them
at the time I thought he had quit, that was the impression she wanted to give…. but I realize even now I may never know what really happened to him, or if he did quit why?
I can’t help feeling some guilt, I don’t think I’m a particularly pleasant person to provide therapy to…. what if he killed himself? IDK. IDK. I try to cast my mind to some resolution, and it won’t be. That’s it. there are no answers, just arbitrary change. Everything is so damn arbitrary, nothing meaningful or instructive.