I miss being that special person. Someone’s favorite. I miss mattering that much to a person. To her. She said I made her feel like she mattered, like she was worth loving. She made me feel that way too. And now she’s gone. I really doubt she’s coming back this time. I have stuff I got on her birthday still, April 1st, in my closet. I was going to give them to her once we were able to see each other again irl. I still have the bear she gave me. I still have the necklace I made in art class I was going to give to her. I was writing her a book of poems with little drawings in it and it was going to be my way of expressing my love for her the best I could. Which granted, probably still isn’t enough. Do I consider this the end of the relationship? Am I technically single now?
I still care about you. Deeply. I hope you’re at least alive. You seemed so scared that I was going to leave you. You deserve better really. I’m nothing.
I feel so fucking stupid