I can’t. I JUST CAN’T ANYMORE!!!
So I just put in a search for a former friend of mine from College/JHS. Apparently she is now the DIRECTOR of Information Security at some company. FUCKING A. She was my friend but she is dumb as a rock. By dumb I mean DUMB. This girl LITERALLY flunked out of my university for having <2.0GPA. Her GPA was a 1.7. That’s a COMBINED AVG over a 2 year period. Four semesters of consistently flunking everything.
She got kicked out and had to transfer to another school. She went to an expensive private school, but one that anyone can get in. Apparently, that's where all the rich ppl's kids go to, so while in that university, she met someone that hooked her up at a sweet IT job in a prestigious company, and made a shit ton of money right out of college. Meanwhile, I graduated my last semester at my uni, the uni that kicked her out for having low grades, with a final semester GPA of 4.925, and I can't find a damn job in Finance bc I graduated 3 mo after 9-11. Grrrreat. Meanwhile SHE flunked out of my school, connected with a bunch of rich kids whose parents were all somebody's- CEOs, VPs, etc, and she is just having the most best blessed life.
Meanwhile, I can't catch a fucking break. I skipped a grade of school, finished HS in 3 years, started taking college classes at 15. I worked 3 jobs in college AND did unpaid internships EVERY fucking semester, WHILE taking a FULL load AND a half of courses. Even then, I still had to join the military to help pay for college bc I had no family to help me pay a single PENNY. Oh, I was only 94 POUNDS when I joined the military so I was tiny af, next to guys that were fucking 6’2. Tiny bc I grew up malnourished due to lack of food and nutrition. But I managed to make it through the military, through sheer grit and determination.
I started working literally at age 9. At a fucking sweatshop. Born to parents that beat the living shit out of me since age 7.
And here I am, unemployed and unemployable bc I am now disabled (car ran me over while I was crossing the street bc the driver was an asshole that didn’t feel like stopping at a red light). Even before that when I WAS working, I made shit salary.
There's a ton of other ppl just like her who just get lucky in life. In her case, she's a former friend so I don't hate her, but there's a TON of others that just don't fucking deserve the sweet life they have. Amazing jobs. Amazing husbands. Amazing life. Half of them are idiots, and the other half are lazy as shit. Yet somehow THEY fucking wind up living the BEST fucking life.
Meanwhile, I'm poor as fuck, I'm disabled, I'm single, alone, and have a shit ton of health problems. I’m currently dealing with a horrible fungal infection that is nasty, ugly, and painful af. Like open sores painful.
I'm just so sick of this fucking life.
I can't. I just can't anymore.
I know “life isn’t fair” BUT FUCK ME.
And ppl wonder WHY I’m so fucking angry at life.