to love yourself and still be depressed? Are there ppl here that love themselves, have good self-esteem, and yet is still depressed?
Most ppl are depressed bc they are lacking in self-love, self-esteem, self-confidence. Or hating themselves for what they’ve done/not done, for who/what they are, etc.
Just curious if there are ppl who love themselves yet are depressed.
4 comments
I like myself more than the average depressed person, I think anyway. I don’t think I deserve this, or to die as a punishment. Rather, my suicidality is linked to my desire not to suffer, and lack of meaningful hope.
But I am hard on myself. You can’t take the amount of substances I do and qualify as being “good” for yourself. It’s harm reduction, I try a lot harder to kill myself when I’m not perpetually under the influence of something.
But I’m trying to love myself. Part of that is making hard choices, choosing health over making others happy. Also, should be mentioned, between depressed and manic, I’ll always choose depressed. So there is an element of my mood that I’m choosing it, rather than letting myself get worked up after wanting more than this.
I do miss the days before my health declined to the point I can’t dance with frustration like I used to. So, it’s an open question whether I’m sincerely loving myself, or just hating how dependent and helpless I get when I run myself further down.
why do you prefer to be depressed over manic? doesn’t mania feel good? it’s the coming down that’s hard, no?
I still have a fair amount of control in a depressed state, and control is what it’s all about. Mania stays somewhat alterable for a few hours in my experience, then it’s like nailing your foot to a train; whereever the mania wants to go, you’re going too, and some of those places are pretty scary.
I can also mask depression, no one is going to check me in anywhere as long as I can agree to a safety plan. I can’t spend enough time in mania to learn to mask it, and just being found in mania can be sufficient to get me checked in against my will. Life on the outside might suck sometimes, but life in a facility is hellish. They won’t let you have significant amounts of caffeine or nicotine for one, your reading material is limited to what they’ll let people bring in, and the other crazy people aren’t good company.
also, what I really can’t stand is others feeling sorry for me. I’m not an invalid, just chronically ill. but let myself off the chain…… I can be rendered an invalid disturbingly quickly.
OH, and final note on the horrors of mania; doctors assume you’re coming down from uppers. Meth heads are the lowest on the pecking order of psych patients. I’ve never touched anything more elicit than cannabis in my life, being treated like an addict because my health is slipping is more than I can stand.
Short answer:
yes =)
But maybe its more because i am depressed because how i see life/environment/future/society.