What if it’s all a dream or dream like. I’ve spent decade of my life trying to find a base, a solid base which I can trust and say “This is Truth” and build a system of thought, a life on that base. But I found none. All I find is lies. Even things as simple as material objects turn out to be lies as proven by scientists using mathematics and philosophers by logic. And I can observe it myself. I watch the door grow bigger as I move closer to it. Is it small or is it big? What is the True size of it? Is there any Truth in the door? If I can’t trust my eyes, I can’t trust my touch.
All my “beliefs” were shattered long ago and since then I’m living on memories, habits. I do things out of necessity, keeping this body alive in the hope that maybe one day I will find use of it.
“Desh, kaal aur paristhiti” – my maternal grandfather used to say. Place, time and situation. That’s all that varies in life. We’re supposed to act according to these three things. If I were born in another place, another time and another situation I would live differently. But since I am right now in this place, time and situation, I’m supposed to act according to this one. It makes me wonder. Things have changed so much from past and are going to change so much in future. Why keep hoping to change things. They will change anyway. All I have is myself. Outside is always going to betray me if I put any faith in it. Why should I be slave to place, time and situation?
But place, time and situation do affect me. There come moments when I feel like I’ve become unaffected, distant but they soon change into old ways. It’s all addiction. People say addiction is weed or porn or video games but to crave food when hungry is also addiction, to browse movies when bored is also addiction, to seek rest when tired is also addiction. Everything we do out of force of memory and not out of will is addiction.
There is no justice in the world. We only HOPE for justice. And we humans try to create a bubble amid nature in the form of society where there is justice. But we never get there. We only create illusions of justice. Anyone by applying little brainpower can see through it. A theft doesn’t equal imprisonment. One’s murder doesn’t equal another’s hanging. One’s suffering doesn’t equal another’s suffering. An event, once done, is done for. It will stay like that forever and ever. Any other event is a new event. The justice we sought or the justice we think we got by imprisoning the thief or hanging the murderer is all in our mind, part of our assumptions and belief system. It’s better to accept truth and give up hope for justice than to try to create a bubble of justice which will keep getting bursted.
The world stands on no foundation. It’s a circle-jerk of reinforcements. And you may say “but the world exists!” and I will say “Sure, but what exactly in it exists? Every single thing has issues. Everything is like a mirage: there it is.. there it is.. where is it? Everything slips from hand like water when taken hold of. World exists, like a dream exists.
That makes whole idea of suffering meaningless. We suffer because we believe in truthfulness of things. Would you suffer in a dream if you came to know it’s a dream?
12 comments
i’m interested in your thoughts. but i’m wondering, what has brought you to these? i know that when i talk like this, i’m running away from something. i know you are also probably trying to figure something out (which i don’t have the space to entertain right now), but what made you think about this stuff in the first place? maybe a more tangible issue you could work on?
Running away is not always a bad thing. You hand touches a hot plate and you immediately pull it back. Should I say you’re running away from suffering by removing your hand? I can phrase it that way and it would seem like a weakness on your part. And indeed it’s a weakness, one would wish one had such strength that even a hot plate wouldn’t faze him. But it’s all part of social belief system. Wanting strength over weakness because being strong or being seen as strong is considered a good characteristic. Truth doesn’t distinguish like that. It’s neutral. I prefer that over worldly ideas of separation between good and bad, strong and weak.
“What brought me to these?”- Birth.
“i know that when i talk like this, i’m running away from something” – Everybody is running, away from something or towards something, or both (often both. and both are two sides of same coin. When you run from lion, are running away from death or running towards extended life? When you run towards food, are you running towards satiation or running away from hunger?)
“what made you think about this stuff in the first place?” – Brain.
“tangible issue you could work on” – that’s language of psychologists. There is no such thing as a normal human being, who is the fantasy of psychology. There is not a single normal human being on planet Earth. It’s a fantastical idea that there are issues that if one could work on he would become “normal”.
i meant running away as in from some emotional issue. aren’t you supposed to confront stuff like that?
there’s no such thing as a normal human being, but there is such one as a healthy one. i think that’s what psychologists mean by ‘normal.’ and healthy individuals are not really that normal as i’m seeing, but they are what we would like to be normal.
No, there is no psychologically healthy human being either. Being human means being surrounded by these distortions of psyche which manifest themselves as emotions. Can you say there is a human without emotions? Or do you think those emotions that are accepted by current form of society, in range of quantity that’s accepted by current form of society, are the “healthy” one and rest are unhealthy?
You’re speaking on social issues and culture. But don’t lie to yourself and say that suffering OF ANY KIND isn’t real. Because physical suffering sure is. Call it an addiction, but the addiction to not being dismembered alive is fucking real. Aka, that shit matters.
You say physical suffering is real. Then how does a painkiller make it disappear? How does anesthesia make it non-existent? How could that Buddhist monk, burning himself alive, not so much as flinch?
Suffering is what makes us believe in reality of world and things. Because we wouldn’t want to suffer from a phantom, from a dream. That would be absurd, would make us feel stupid.
what buddhist monk burning himself alive? can’t find anything on the subject. provide me a link or something if you really care about this issue and are not just using it as an emotional argument to get some need met.
also, say that was true and a buddhist monk didn’t flinch (still don’t have the link), he still probably felt it. people can get used to a lot of things. the emotional expression might be different due to thought processes or being in a scenario repeatedly, but the physical feeling is still undesirable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxrBik16Hzg
I am not saying we don’t feel pain. I am saying it’s in mind and is changeable, otherwise painkiller or anesthesia would not be able to stop it without actually correcting the body issue that caused pain. Or this buddhist monk would flinch if he had not gone so deep in mind that body problems became diminished or non-existent.
i’ve been rereading what you wrote and i think i agree with you on things. i guess it’s just that when people say things like “meaningless,” they usually mean “not worth doing or partaking in,” but like you said, we have little choice over doing the same things to keep us alive… in the end this is all true, but i ask myself so what. just do what you’re going to do in life. finding a use? there’s so many things you can do for others.
To do things out of necessity is one thing, to do things from heart is another. And latter is the main thing, former being means to latter. I cannot put my heart into things I don’t believe in, things I found as lies.
No but I do have hope. I’m a firm believer in Truth and that one can reach it. Maybe finding all these lies is step towards that. It gets difficult sometimes, to live amid and do things one doesn’t believe in. But to sink back into those lies out of hopelessness or lack of options – No, Never.
i’ll be honest here, unless you’re being specific or giving an example i’ll have no idea what you’re talking about. “heart” and “truth”…what are these concepts? maybe i’ll understand if i’m in a certain context what you’re talking about. given your response on my latest post, it almost seems like you understand my current psychology a little, though i have to admit yours is a bit of puzzle. i’m not sure if that’s what you want, or if you’re being vague because you’re private for some other reason
I was replying to your comment about having little choice in what to do in life. I was saying just because there is not much choice in what we can do in worldly life doesn’t mean I’m going to accept those things and do them with my heart and mind put into them. Because I find a lot of lies in them, which is what my main post in about. We may be condemned to live in a dream, according to rules of dream, but no one can force us to put our heart into it. No one but ourselves. Though I don’t think we’re condemned either. I think we create it with our own desire, and then trust it with our ignorance.
“Truth” – I don’t know how to define or explain it. Opposite of lies maybe? It’s an instinctive idea, something in which I cannot find a lie, something which fulfills the mind absolutely and unconditionally.
I was just able to relate with your post. I used to feel same way sometimes. After writing a post on SP I would later feel like I have not really written truth there, I deceived myself and others. I would feel like “The Magician” from Thus Spoke Zarathustra. But in the end it helped, to write than to not write. SP forgives.
Well it was not my intention to create puzzle of myself. I come here to solve my puzzles.