out of hope, tried too hard, barely holding on, again…………
I don’t want to die, I just want some hot water and to know I could keep eating…. . how gloriously niave I was that those meager boons were within reach
A large part of me wants to hang this useless corpse in front of one of the organizations that failed me…. but there are so many, and I only have the one useless corpse
or for something harder, heroine, fentanyl…… any narcotic capable of erasing the pain. I wish alcohol had ever done that for me…… lucky bastards who it does work for. I mean, they die from liver failure, but then people just blame addiction, it’s not the failure thaat suicide reflects.
Even now, an exit door without blowback seems too optimistic…….. as is a path back to sanity. Stupid, stupid stupid, how can I have sat so many lectures, 100%ed so many tests, crafted so many essays, and with all of that….. be so fundamentally stupid
Was it socrates that said “All we know is that we know nothing”? It might’ve been Aristotle, not Plato, Plato just talked about his stupid cave.
“I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam”…… that’s Popeye
“It aint over til it’s over” Yogi Berra
“Heavens to Mergatroyd! Exit stage right!” Snagglepuss
even all the wisdom of the ages…………. just fluff, pointless fluff. Oh well, I am that too right now, it’s nice to know I stand shoulder to shoulder with people who supposedly accomplished something………. I look forward to a few hundred years from now when even my bones are dust and my name is lost forever