I am not strong enough to deal with everything.
Not physically or emotionally strong enough.
I need HELP.
I need PHYSICAL HELP.
I need FINANCIAL HELP.
I need COMPASSION and CARE.
Someone who gives a damn about me.
Something/Some reason for me to keep plodding onward in life.
My life is so fucking difficult, I can’t take it!
And I am ex-military and I never complained about anything back then, even when things were very insanely difficult (female and at the time a measly 94lb). I was able to endure everything that came my way. But now my health is gone and I can hardly do anything. And with SO much shit in my life, now my mind is no longer strong.
I used to be able to handle anything and everything, and now I can barely handle the most simple of things (like laundry), let alone all the BIG issues I have to deal with. Finances, where to live, health issues, etc. On top of all the trauma and shit I’ve experience in my life.
When do I get a break? Something tells me when I’m dead is the answer.
6 comments
twitter . com/VividVoid_/status/1748032711707787548
i only moved in last summer, so it will get rid of the NEW stuff, which is the skin conditions when i move out. but the problem is that
1- i was already super sick with a ton of other health problems to begin with, unlike that poster
2- these infections triggered skin shit like eczema that i never had before. and may continue to stay even when i move out.
3- it’s already scarred my skin so new good skin is going to to take years to grow
4- it grew my fungus, and that’s been eating me up too. and fungus is notoriously hard to kill. -_- ppl have it for years or decades.
Ex- if i moved in with 60% health, and my current health is 40, if i leave, my health may go back up to 50-55, but a lot of damage has been done. every hit, every infection, every health issue- even temporary- takes a hit. i’ve had colds 20+ years ago that have left permament issues with my nose/nasal passages/breathing. And this fucking bacterial infection has fucked up my veins, not just my skin. SKin can grow back, albeit slow (7 years for a complete new one). But veins don’t grow back or heal like other body parts. IDK how bad it’s going to be. FML.
This is so fucked up. Stupidest decision to move in to my mom’s shit house. I shouldn’t have listened to ANYONE. Goddmannit. And in the end, they all didn’t give a shit or lift a finger to help. Fuckers.
Trait with narcissists is that they like to ignore a problem until it gets on their face. They avoid having to deal with issues of others as long as it’s not explicitly put in words or until something unavoidably visible happens like blood flowing. It’s a shit attitude but that’s how it is. You issues are more of internal so they won’t help on their own. So maybe you would have to specifically tell them. Like if you need to go to dr appointment then tell them to take you. Annoy them until improvements are made in house saying it’s doctor’s suggestion.
that won’t work bc they all don’t give a shit about me. that’s the fundamental problem.
Thought it might be relevant to your situation. Amazed that mold affect psyche as well. Comments all endorse the post.
i know, you meant well. i know i’ll get better than i currently am if i move out. problem is, i have nowhere to go, AND when i’m this sick I can’t exactly move out to anywhere. ESP for the past 2 months when I had OOZING fucking wounds on my arms and legs.