It’s a fucking awful combination. I swear someone fucking cursed me. I miss being able to have DEEP SLEEP, and wake up nice and refreshed. This is why I’m always cursing. I used to be bubbly and full of life- even when I was depressed about my life or myself, I still had ‘zest.’ But over the decades that zest has gone. It’s fucking gone now. And now I struggle to just get through each day… -_-
It’s 5AM and I still have not slept…
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I’m assuming your environment is preventing you from getting good sleep…I have a similar problem. I have scumbag neighbors and I think the wife is legit mentally ill, who disturbs my sleep at night (to force us to move).
Before we moved here (a year ago), I had considered going to a condo, where we didn’t have to deal with any neighbors, but it’d eat up nearly all our income-we’d have very little savings at the end. I had also come close to buying a condo, but rates got away from us as well as property prices.
Anyways, I should’ve rented a condo instead (when I couldn’t buy one) …there are some very nice/new ones out there and you don’t have to deal with azzholes bothering you. I was just trying to save some money…but you can’t put a price on silence, peace of mind and distance from the rotten people.
Lesson learned the very hard way…I should’ve clued in on the last place but I didn’t think I’d wind up with something similar…the odds were low, but never underestimate the scummy nature of humanity…always assume most people you ever come across are evil and out to ruin your life and you’d be better off avoiding living with people near you…esp. when it comes to renting/housing.
I was hoping they’d chill out (stop disturbing us) in time and while this place is still far better than the last one, the lack of getting my full sleep is a dealbreaker…so unless the situation improves, I’m going for a condo this spring…hopefully I can find some decent affordable ones available in our expensive, over-crowded city.
I have heard that rental prices are coming down a bit and that people are leaving these cities…so maybe that will open up some opportunities for us.
But the worst part about all of this is that I wanted to focus on my side-hustle, but couldn’t because of the trouble I’m dealing with now. I have missed out on making a ton of money (from day-trading) these past few months-not to mention I missed a lot of work too.
If I’m sleep-deprived, I can’t focus, I’m not up on time, dealing with related health issues like getting headaches, fatigue, etc… like today I was forced to cancel work also. It’s an absolute shit-show.
The irony is that if I was sleeping properly and was able to do my “side-hustle,” I would’ve made enough that my life would’ve forever changed for the better-we would’ve been in a position to buy a truly nice place. Ofc not everyone can succeed in this field (many fail/lose money) but I’ve studied it for 20 years, so I’m pretty confident I’ll do very well…if my living situation wasn’t preventing me from focusing on it.
I know in your case, not only do you have your health issues but you are also trapped in your mom’s terrible home…hopefully you too can find a way out of your bad situation, as I need to as well.
It’s a fucking catch 22- I can’t get better until I leave but I can’t leave until I get better! And being here in mom’s shit house is getting me sicker!! Fucking worst decision of my life to fucking come here. Not just the health aspect but the fucking mental and emotional shit I am dumped by “mommy dearest” and the rest of extended family.
God I hate it here. Been here 9 fucking months already when I wanted to leave as soon as I got here. I am stuck- I can’t leave being sick but staying here is getting me sicker. I don’t have the health to go anywhere. Also, where do I go? NOWHERE in the fucking USA is it affordable. Not anywhere safe at least.
I don’t want to waste any energy into moving to a short term place in another state before going overseas. But I don’t have the health to go overseas by myself, as well as the mental fortitude to believe I can fend for myself there. It’s the initial few months there that scare me. Once I’m set up, I’ll be okay. But how am I going to set everything up on my own there? I don’t even know how. And I still can’t fucking walk bc of this fucking infection.
God idk WHEN I can escape this place. Fucking hellhole of a TRAP. It’s making me sick the longer I’m here but I can’t leave being so sick and fatigued and unable to walk. FML. God I fucking hate my life. I swear the Universe has cursed me.
You deserve better…smart, articulate, aware of your situation…but your health and home is holding you back. But in your situation you must turn over every rock for a solution…is it possible to pitch a tent outside? If living inside is so toxic?
Then your health could improve and then maybe you can better your life. Any other places you can think of where you can stay to improve? Friend’s basement or something else?
One other thing that occurred to me is that I am financially helping the same rotten vermin who are preventing me from improving my life…that is paying your torturer to torture you and letting them get rich off your back…a perfect parasitic relationship. All the more reason for us to move out asap.
At least if you had your health you’d have great options…but if you can’t do the basics…or even work, you are trapped in your situation. But it sounds to me that you don’t want to ‘throw in the towel’ so I’d suggest doing whatever you can to extricate yourself from that nasty place. I hope you are able to find a way out.
Forgot to add, I know exactly what you mean…thanks to my wonderful mother, because of her hard work (as a nurse), she gave my siblings and I, a nice, comfortable life-though we were lower income…while we rented, most of the places we lived in were reasonably safe and peaceful. (That ofc is totally apart from my depression over my life).
So I always had a good night’s sleep for a good 20 years at least…until university. Sleep is everything…it’s the flipside of the coin of good health. Bad sleep, rough life, really.
Like you, when I’ve slept well, I’m sharper, happier, wittier, have better memory…have more energy, etc. Sleep is very underrated.
sigh- at least you have someone that loves or cares about you. someone who cared enough to sacrifice for you. i have no idea what that feels like. i have no idea what it feels like for anyone to give a shit about me, care about my wellbeing, and actively helps me out.
there’s a certain kind of comfort and confidence that comes with knowing you are loved and cared for. something i’ve never had. something that eats away at the souls of the unloved. it’s not just the absence of love- it’s also the absence of the sense of well-being- that “everything will be fine” feeling. not explaining it properly but you get the gist of it.
Ya sorry to hear….well I always knew I had a home and family but I wouldn’t say we were all that super-close…there was some dislike of one another…but as a child you take everything for granted, the food, roof over your head, etc…and you think it’s forever.
I disliked my parents for having kids, for giving us the shortcomings, like not being rich and other issues that mattered a lot at that time. Anyways that’s how they thought and we were forced into that situation.
Frankly it’s hard to blame them…when you think you found your s/o like my parents did, you want to have kids, have a home, etc…but they should’ve established themselves first, bot a house, then had kids.
Though really my selfish POS dad ruined that, he always wanted a new life/family, like my idiot sister…she gets her sociopathic brain from him. Had he stayed with my mom (and wasn’t a mean azzhole) then we would’ve had a way better life.
And they were considered to be good-looking in their youth…I can understand, when I’ve had my chances with beautiful a girl, it’d make me want to sacrifice everything to be with her….who knows maybe I could’ve done the same dumb things my parents did and had kids before we could really afford it…that’s nature at work.
But ya you’re right with most of what you’ve said…sorry you didn’t have that similar experience. Still kudos to you for being a strong person, joining the military and doing what you’ve done despite all that.
I think you deserved to have that good life with that guy you found…too bad it fell apart but I would’ve said don’t give up, keep trying till you find mr right.
how many kids did ur parents have? just you and your sister?
Actually it was 3 of us, myself and two sisters….I’m the oldest…the middle one is the problem child, a selfish troublemaker-takes after my dad in many ways.
The youngest is more like me, nice and helpful, but she can also sometimes be a b*tch…as mentioned in some of my other posts, but I still get along with her well…her spouse is a bit of an azz so she took on some of his traits…but she’s getting better.
I wonder when you say you’re awake at 5 AM, have you been lying in bed? that can actually make it worse. I end up awake in the middle of the night a fair amount of time, and what seems to help is getting up and doing a few things, then going back to bed.
Diet plays a big part in healthy sleep, peanuts and milk are the two best things for sleep in my experience.
Finally, sleep environment, is your matress comfortable? Do you have a dark relatively silent area to sleep in? At least on the second part there are easy ways to improve it; earplugs and a sleep mask can improve sleep quality a lot. Though, it’s amazing how much a good knee pillow can help matress comfort
If I go off my sleep, it’s awful, I haven’t let it happen since it landed me in the hospital with a psychotic episode.
the problem is that i live in a teeny tiny shit ass “apt.” it’s basically got a single small room (and i mean SMALL) and a “kitchen.” that’s it. there’s no room to do anything. i can barely walk around in it except up and down the stairs. there’s just no fucking room to do a goddamn thing.
and no, i don’t have a good sleep environment. and no, i don’t have a good mattress. it’s a cheap ass mattress that mother put in thinking a shit mattress is good enough for me to sleep on, bc that’s how little she cares about me. and no, i didn’t buy one bc i never planned on staying once i saw the shit “apt.” but haven’t been able to leave bc i got sick and sick and sicker the longer i was here. so haven’t been able to fucking leave. now my months long infection is finally gone, but my foot is still fucked up and i can’t walk -_-
Glad your infection healed, but is your foot damaged or can you eventually walk again?
Is your mom poor? Mattresses aren’t too costly…but that’s if she wants to invest in you. How’s the attic if you have one or bsmt? I’m just wondering if there’s a better space in the home you live in.
the veins got permanently damaged. now, the skin can heal so that i can move my foot better but idk how long that’s gonna take. my legs started healing 2 weeks ago and i can at least bend my foot so i can put on underwear and things like that again, but the healing feels like it’s stopped. or going really slow now. there was a lot of progress after i got out of the hospital, but now there hasn’t been much healing on the foot so i’m worried at how long it’s going to last. bc rn, i’m not getting the circulation/blood in the foot and veins don’t fucking heal 🙁
so yes, there’s going to be permanent damage from this infection, from living at mom’s shit house. other aspects of my health are also permanently damaged, so it’s not like if i leave, everything will be fine. i will never fully get back what i lost. hence, why i’m so fucking angry.
and no, i STILL have NO help from anyone. Fucking bullshit.
OH and mother FINALLY decided to put out an umbrella (today) and wet water boots (last week). WHY even fucking bother doing that shit now? I’ve been here NINE fucking months. She didn’t think I needed a fucking umbrella back many months ago when it would just fucking rain and rain and rain? Like what fucking GOOD does an umbrella do me NOW? obviously, i’ve now finally got one- but like even the SMALLEST of things like getting me an umbrella- she decides to get one for me NOW? like really?
also, i’ve run out of real food, haven’t been to the store bc it’s been snowing and raining.
Also bc I had a fucking shitty horrible cold the last 2 weeks. caught it either from my shitty mom that’s been coughing all over the place, or from some ppl at the hospital, who’re also coughing all over the place. and of ALL the rotten luck, they put THEM in the room with ME, and not anyone else. I was in TWO different rooms and both times they stuck me with someone who’s hacking up a fucking lung. And no, most of the other patients weren’t coughing- EXCEPT MY fucking roommates at the hospital. Yeah, my fucking kind of luck. Always. -_-
Hence why I’m so bitter. WHY does it always have to be me? Like seriously?
Ya it’s really terrible situation you’re in…the funny thing I noticed about this world is when you’re poor, unhealthy, struggling, nobody wants to throw a penny your way or do the the slightest to help.
But if you’re rich and getting richer, they’re all over you like puppy dogs and will take any abuse you throw at them.
ya it sucks being thrown in a situation where you breathe the same air as very sick people…can’t avoid getting sick yourself.
Well hopefully your body will keep improving, with some exercise your foot should get better despite the nerve damage.
I had sciatic pain due to my back problems and my right foot, esp my toes went numb…that was a year ago…but most of the feeling has come back…I haven’t been regularily to the gym yet, just went a few times.
I doubt I’ll be running any sprints or marathons, but so long as I can walk/jog, run a bit, get my body back to normal, that’s all I want.
it’s just that i don’t have the health and energy to deal with all the problems and health problems i have, but the more problems i have the more my health suffers. fucking catch 22. it’s a fucking living nightmare being in my mom’s shit house. it’s got doors dividing the unit so it’s technically separate but her shitty air comes in to my unit.
UGH.
any good recommendations on a good knee pillow? i do need one. or a foot pillow. i have bad circulation now thanks to this shitty place. although, maybe i need to get the opposite of what you have since you’re a big dude.
Fuck, i HATE it here. The longer I stay, the MORE I must furnish this fucking place and buy stuff for it, which I do NOT want to. And when I leave, I will fly out, so can’t take much stuff with me. Hence not wanting to buy anything for the fucking apt. But that also means I don’t have anything much here in terms of comfort. Sigh.
Maybe buy very cheap crap you need but can junk after, when you’re ready to leave…but you need comfort and sleep is essential. Health first, then job or leaving to a better place.
Your story motivates me as well to buck up and get my shiit together as well and move into a better place…most importantly stop giving money to people who are making my life terrible.
Like used furniture, stuff from thrift shops, dollar store, etc. Ages ago I didn’t have a job (was looking for work)…my nice office chair broke and I had to replace it.
My father who had loads of cash did once offer to replace it…but he was willing to drive me to a used furniture place and I actually found a very decent, strong replacement chair for $10…I had learned for a while not to expect anything from that lowlife of a father, so just the drive itself was a nice favor from his side.
Incidentally, I had a bunch of debts at that time…I had also lost my job, it was an unreliable place…I asked my dad for only $1,000 to pay for bankruptcy as a loan, he refused and claimed he had no money. Lol..this man who regularly took trips to Hawaii and other places.
If I didn’t need him in my life I would’ve cut him off ages ago…but since I was struggling myself I had to put up with his BS since I’d occassionally need his help for small favors like the chair.
On the one hand it would’ve been good to be totally debt free…but I would’ve had the bankruptcy on my report for 7 yrs….it’s a tough call, but I think in the situation I was in, I was better off filing for it. I could’ve always rebuilt my credit after anyways.
This same dirtbag father would buy me toys for my birthday and xmas let me play with it for a bit like a game console, then whine about not having money and then regift it to his friends…and their kids would get it.
Imagine a POS father who cared more about his reputation and other people’s kids than his own. If we had some basic standards in who decides who can reproduce people like my dad should get sterilization….he’s totally unfit to be a father.
correction:
-he didn’t once offer to replace it (the chair)…
I should add he also let me enjoy the embarrassment of draging the old broken chair to the Staples we bought it from to see if was still covered by warranty, and ofc it wasn’t.
Nope, he’d rather let his broke unemployed son suffer in shame than to drop $200 to make the problem go away….for the man who owns a massive house and had tons of savings.
You’d think he could even loan me the $200, as if I was going to be unemployed forever…I even mentioned that about the bankruptcy….but he refused.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg of the crappy way he dealt with me…not that he didn’t do some good things, but they were few and far between.
i know. i already do get the cheapest stuff, but even so, it still is wasteful and a hurt to the wallet to keep buying new shit every time i move. have to leave so much behind. oh, and the health stuff i have to buy isn’t cheap and i can’t take those with me either.
hell, even the cost of food alone is $$$ af now. like i don’t even feel like eating anymore bc everything is so $$$. aside from the fact that going to get food is such a hard for me. and no, delivery is just too fucking $$$$$. everyone keeps telling me “just get delivery, it’s not expensive…” fuck NO, it IS super fucking expensive. they add like a million fucking fees, and none of that is even actual tip to the person delivering. AND they jack up the cost of every item online, as if the grocery stores or restaurants weren’t expensive enough already.
so no, i don’t get delivery even though that would make life so much easier.
like i had two $20 off coupons on uber eats, but the fees were LITERALLY $12, plus I’d need at least $4 for tip. So MINIMUM $16 if being a cheapo and ordering the bare minimum ($20). I decided not to order bc I’d still wind up paying $16. I mean, I guess maybe I should’ve done it in retrospect but I wasn’t excited about paying that much just in fees.
“Imagine a POS father who cared more about his reputation and other people’s kids than his own. ”
>Oh I don’t need to imagine. My own shitty father would routinely send money back home to his family (brothers, sisters, their kids, etc) and would leave nothing left for his OWN fucking children. Like money for gas, heat, shoes, etc. We didn’t have shit growing up bc 1- both parents didn’t make enough money and 2- what little we had father would give to HIS family in our home country and what little mother made she would save it and never spend anything- well except when it came to spending on her ‘precious’ golden son. No money for her female children, but has money for my brother. But I suppose that’s better than father who would send ALL of his money to his family in our home country. Well that and booze. So there was no money left for things like you know, HEAT or food or SHOES (part of the reason why my foot is fucked up now).
but nooooo, apparently i have NO right to be angry, and i’m just supposed to just forget and forgive them for EVERYTHING they have fucking done to me. fucking bullshit coming from my aunts/uncles who have NO fucking clue how their sister (my mother) treated me. i tried telling me and they just refuse to believe bc that makes them shitty aunts/uncles who did NOTHING- which is what they did for me- NOTHING.
I agree, but if you can’t afford to lug all that stuff around, then it make sense to just travel light and buy what you need, then chuck it later.
The other option is to hang onto old stuff like my mom and I do, because you never know what will become handy later on…and it’s served us well.
In time though I’ve tossed out a lot of old things when I know we won’t use any more. I guess it just depends on the situation you’re in.
I mean esp. when you’re a renter or nomadic type, then you just want to stick to the essentials…ofc once you get a good job and a house, then it doesn’t matter…you can store stuff in your garage and bsmt.
Agreed, food is very costly….actually I don’t tip the driver, even though they deserve it as they’re doing the hard work…but they can complain to mgmt if they feel they’re not getting enough.
They jack up the price of food when you order and then tack on fees on top. I don’t know if you have SkipTheDishes in your area, but they’re ok I think compared to others…usually I only pay $2 or so in fees (like if you order $20 or more, they drop delivery charge).
The best thing to do is to cook at home, it’s healthier and far, far cheaper. But the catch is the time and energy it takes…if you can manage.
For us, we don’t order that often and it’s well within our budget. I only pay about $200/mth on takeout so its not too bad…sometimes I dine out with family but that’s rare.
Ya your family is horrible…no child deserves to be raised that way. It’s bad enough that you guys don’t have a lot, but then your father is giving his cash to his family forcing you guys to suffer even more…and ofc like you said your mother isn’t much better.
These are the sorts of people that need sterilization…they’re too incompetent to have/raise kids.
They’re also the type of people you want to run away from and live independently.
But it’s not easy to find high paying jobs without credentials and good contacts.
That’s why I couldn’t escape my situation either, though I tried…I am fiercely independent by nature. I am happy to help my family and would give them the shirt off my back, only my mom is about as generous…but not the rest of my family unfortunately.
Society should pay people a fair wage so that nobody has to ever depend on anyone else for anything. Also the govt should offer homes for kids in positions like yours…so that you’re given a safe shelter, food, etc. so you can focus on your education and health.
Ya I can imagine the psychological trauma of seeing the favorite son get all the benefits while you get nothing, terrible situation.
You have every right to be angry, resentful and hateful of your family for the way they treated you. It’s sad that nobody else cares either.
But I’ll be honest while I have extended family back home, we have little to no connection to them, so they’re on their own as much as I am.
i WISH delivery was only $2. all the mandatory fees come out to $12, for a $20 order. fucking ridiculous. that’s why i didn’t order despite having a $20 off coupon from ubereats. ALL the delivery apps cost that much, roughly. it’s the biggest fucking scam since it’s inception.
the ONLY place that didn’t charge a million fees was, ironically, amazon eats, which was only around a few years before bezos canned it, bc it wasn’t generating enough revenue, bc it *wasn’t* charging a billion fees.
so i’m left to getting food by foot, which is fucking difficult when your foot doesn’t fucking work -_-
your parents only had you and your sister. still not smart to have 2 kids when they’re not financially well off, but still better than my parents who decided to have FOUR fucking children when they’re poor as shit. Ok, we weren’t poor in our home country- we were middle/upper middle class in our home country. Then we just HAD to fucking come to the US and be broke as shit. And to them it was all worth it bc they had their fucking precious son- which is the ONLY thing they both fucking cared about.
i don’t have a fucking stove so i can’t cook- everything has to be either microwaved or take out. i’m getting fucking fat and unhealthy living in this shithole.
ppl will protest about forced sterilization. granted governments and wealthy elites *would* abuse the hell of that if forced sterilization was in place. BUT it is also true that a good 80% of ppl having children have no business having children. if you’re poor, you should be allowed to have ONE or at most TWO. but beyond that, ppl shouldn’t fucking be allowed to have 3, 4, 8 or 20 children if they can’t fucking afford it. children who grow up in poverty are usually fucked for life. THAT is the shit ppl who whine and cry about forced sterilization don’t fucking understand. not counting the actual cases of physical abuse that goes on in those households.
I’ll reply at the bottom so we can use reply button more easily.
This is the one I’ve used for the last year at least
https://www.amazon.com/NATUMAX-Knee-Pillow-Side-Sleepers/dp/B07JDSZ88Y/ref=sr_1_25?crid=1OOSJZ2OX5IN&keywords=knee%2Bpillow&qid=1706230299&sprefix=knee%2Bpi%2Caps%2C92&sr=8-25&th=1
About food delivery…ya that’s pretty insane…whenever I have to spend over $5-10 in extra fees, then I usually just go pick it up myself (I have a car).
Ofc it depends which restaurant you order from too….but usually for us it’s not too bad, esp compared to you guys in the US. Also Skip has been pretty good with refunding on those rare times the order was messed up.
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Ya actually I have two sisters, so there’s 3 of us in total…I think we both agree poor people need to stop having kids and more than 2 or 3 is bad enough…they’re just bringing more innocents in the world to starve and suffer as they have, that’s insane thinking and they should be banned from breeding.
But ya the mainstream doesn’t care and they’d call us evil for wanting to sterilize people yet would cry over kids who are abused and die in poverty.
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I don’t understand why people would leave a higher standard of living to put themselves in a situation where they and their family becomes poorer…sadly you’re a victim of their bad choices.
If/when you do move it’ll be good to find a place which allows you to cook…we do that about half the time…and I personally just love home cooked food. It tastes better, you know it’s clean and healthy too cause you made it…it’s also cheaper and lasts longer…. except that it takes some effort to cook that’s all.
bc at the time, everyone thought the streets of America was paved with gold. Like you go to America and become rich. That was the way USA was seen back then. And my mother’s whole family is here in the USA, but my father’s side of the family is all in my home country. Apparently my father lost the war on where to live.
i was HAPPY in my home country. i wasn’t cold, starving, or beaten. my grandma took care of me (bc my shitty mother NEVER did), so at least I have SOMEONE who cared about me.
the SECOND i fucking came to the USA, it has been hell.
the reason we came here was bc they wanted to have a fucking boy, to make more money, and for my mother to be near HER family, which meant plucking us away from my FATHERS family- basically plucking us from everything and everyone we knew.
it’s bc they were fucking selfish. i’m sure my father regretted and hated my mother for fucking coming here. like WHY leave a good life to come here just to be fucking poor and starving? yeah well, i had no choice in the matter and my fate was sealed the moment they fucking decided to come here. FML. I absolute fucking HATE the USA. i’ve been bullied and harassed the SECOND i stepped foot here, by other students and even by teachers. fucking bullshit.
and yeah, my WHOLE fucking childhood in poverty. and bc we were poor as shit, my parents fought 24-7. and bc they fought 24-7 and hated each other, mother took out all her anger on ME. fucking shitty behavior from a fucking adult. beat me up any time she was angry, which was ALL the fucking time. she’d get into an argument with my father, then she’d go beat me for whatever random reason she’d invent to take out her anger- on me. Every fucking time. Fucking b!tch.
fucking HATE my fucking life. yeah, i’m fucking angry and bitter at the world and hate my fucking family, but who wouldn’t in my situation? it’s always the fucking shitty callous and unempathetic ppl who just go “you just need to get over it, it’s the past, forget and forgive blah blah”
anyhow, fuck everyone. the last few years i’ve seen humanity for what it really is- fucked up and shitty. yeah sure, there’s a few “good” humans, but they sure af ain’t in MY life.
i’m so sick of being screwed my entire fucking life. OFC i’m angry. i never had a fucking chance.
Oh ok that makes sense…ya it’s sad you weren’t able to stay in the place you were happiest. Your mother sounds like a horrible person….how terrible for an adult to beat up on a child…that’s the worst form of bullying that’s accepted in society and barely criticized.
not only that but if she was even-handed in her cruelty to my other siblings, at least it’d be “fair,” but she played favorites. My brother was the golden child. My oldest sister was the platinum child. And my other sister and I were barely considered human. But I was the one that always got beat up, not even the other sister bc she was older and bigger, so it was easier and more convenient to pick on me. Fucking b!tch.
Ya evil scummy people always pick on the weakest people. Ya my mom-while I sometimes paint her like an angel had her bad moments too.
She was brainwashed into her stupid religion-Christianity and so it was considered wrong for us to date or even talk to people of the opposite sex.
So she used to hit my sisters with a sandal if she found out they talked to some boys…it was extremely rare but she beat up my sister until I intervened and told her she’s never going to do that again-all for what? Talking to a boy (I was there with her)…how fkg stupid. Then these same parents later ask “oh how come you haven’t gotten married now?”
Ofc you’ve had it the worst in many ways…life is incredibly unjust. We depend on other humans to show mercy towards us…esp. children and when they don’t it’s hell, because there’s nothing we can do to fight back.
My dad on slapped me once when i was a little kid around 6 yrs old. I had no idea what I did wrong but it was like getting a brick to the face.
Thankfully he never hit me again after…but he wrecked my life in many other ways when I became a teenager and young adult.
Fortunately I had grown smart enough to know while I’d love to kick his azz (I had become stronger than him from bodybuilding), I would’ve ended up homeless if I did.
It just goes back to what we were saying…the wrong people having kids, when they shouldn’t.
I should add, my youngest sister, let’s call her Jane (and the rotten one Helga)…turned the tables on my mother, not physically but it was still wrong.
A couple of years ago during Xmas, we went to visit…mind you my mom is a frail old 5ft tall woman in her 70s with health issues. My sister, surrounded by her spouse/kids started berating my mother about never buying us Xmas presents and she was saying that she did.
(I stayed quiet because I knew I’d flip out on my sister for her stupid, uncalled for behavior…and we needed her in our lives.)
And basically throwing a bunch of other nasty things in her face. This old woman did what she could do with the limited knowledge she had-parents make mistakes, but she wasn’t a terrible person.
Still to this day my idiot sisters don’t seem to understand that without my mother we wouldn’t have had a roof over our heads…or we’d be forced to live with my lunatic dad and his new wife.
That’s rather cruel, when you (Jane) live in a beautiful home, while your mom (and I) are still scraping by on renting in a crappy place, to whine about how your mom didn’t give you the best life.
What about my mom’s life and how her parents treated her? She came from an even poorer place. My dad cut and ran and bought himself a house and a new wife…leaving my mother to ‘hold the bag.’
He’s the one she really should be mad at but my mom’s a very easy target. Not to paint Jane as evil either…we all have a bit of good and bad in us…she does have a good heart, and I believe if I died tomorrow she’d look after my mom….but just barely I know in the past she wouldn’t…esp her rotten spouse, but he’d have no say in this, because my sister helped him with his elderly parents in their country.
Still nothing worse than being under someone else’s thumb, whether in family or having to rent or work in a bad place.
i wish i was hit with a sandal instead. my POS mother would literally beat the living shit out of me to the point i literally had bruises on me for most of the year, every year, for most of my childhood. fucking ridiculous. and ofc that shit is hidden from the other extended family- in front of ppl outside the immediate family, she puts on this phony fake-nice facade- full on different voice, different demeanor, different words, etc- and the second they were gone, she’s back to being a witch.
this is why i fucking HATE lying sacks of shits. one of the things that irritate me the most are wolves who pretend they are innocent lovely sheep, when they are nothing but. manipulators and liars. they are the most insidious.
Agreed Eternal…I totally hate liars, they’re the scummiest people on the planet and typical tend to be the sociopathic and violent types.
What I also hate about liars is that they don’t play by the same rules and standards honest people do.
So when you bring up an event or situation from the past, the liar will just deny they ever said or did what you claim, they’ll just make up their own rules.
Honest people can agree on the accuracy of events, and if someone made a mistake, they’d apologize for it…but the egos of some people won’t let them accept being wrong or face the pain of humiliation or regret or shame…so it’s easier to lie instead.
And when people resort to lying it cheapens a relationship.
I can understand if one lies to save a life or ‘white lies’ that are harmless in the end….but not the more serious kind. I don’t keep liars in my life.
my problem is that everyone believes this lying sack of shit that is my mother, and she has turned everyone against me, pretending to be this innocent poor little victim. meanwhile she’s the one who has no ability to care about others, and everything she says and does is just for show, and a lie. and everyone eats it all up. and i’m casted as the black sheep.
sigh…
Your mom is a textbook sociopath…narcissitic, shallow emotions, excellent manipulator of people, liar, abusive, lacking in empathy….it’s all there. Like my dad and other sister.
I’m pretty shocked at how such people manage to slide through life without someone doing something horrible to them.
My sister put herself in risky situations and also shot her mouth off at people she barely knew, insulting their knowledge among other things.
I think nowadays people are a bit ‘smarter’ and don’t feel it’s worth going to jail or getting a criminal record by assaulting bad people like this…so they usually avoid them.
I hope you are eventually able to get away from your mom. I wish I had thought the same about my dad…I lived with him for a while when I got a job near his big house and tbh I got too comfortable there…not to mention he and I were getting along, until he had a crisis at his work.
What I should’ve done was stay with my mom when she was younger (we were both working) and we could’ve gotten our own house about 20 years ago.
It really irks me, for someone with my intelligence….I can solve complex equations, write elaborate programs/code, write great essays, (books if I really focused on it), I’ve done my science thesis…etc, but I make such foolish, bone-headed decisions in life.
Ofc hindsight is 20/20…but when I’m in the moment, it seems like a vague and complicated decision…looking back it was all so obvious.
it’s *because* they use honey words that ppl don’t see what they really are, like the wolf in sheep’s clothing. your sister mouthing off, she’s something else- that’s not sociopathic- like sociopaths HIDE who they truly are, and are usually great at saying flowery and sweet stuff to ensnare ppl. that’s why ppl believe sociopaths like my mother and that’s why they get away with it.
In the case where my sister was mouthing off, she was trying to show she’s smarter/better than someone else, and also did it in such a crude/vulgar manner…which is ironic for someone who pretends to be an ‘intellectual’ then can’t seem to ‘school’ others in a more sophisticated and eloquent way…but then people like her lack an ability to see themselves through the eyes of others.
Well my sister can be a ‘sweet-talker’ when she wants to manipulate others as well. She’s good at putting on a show. She even admitted to me one time how hard it was to pretend to like someone (including her family) when she needed something from them but hated that person, like my other sister (I’m sure she feels the same way about me).
Those ‘honey words’ you mentioned remind me of my scummy step-mom as well…she seems like the sweetest person when you first meet her, but you realize it’s just an act and she does it to please my dad. In reality she’s never liked us, but had no choice if she wanted to be in our family.
So ya I’m sure your mom probably developed the same kinds of coping skills. It’s just crazy how many people are scumbags who pretend to be nice to get what they want.
That’s why I always now assume whoever I meet is probably a shiithead…but the trouble is that we live in a world where often times we have no choice but to have these people as our landlords or bosses.
I’m really hoping I can get my side-gig succeeding so I can cut the people I hate out of my life and leave my crappy job. Then enjoy the best that life has to offer.
For that I need to get my sleep under control…but I live in a place where it’s tough to do…as much as I don’t want to move I think I might have no choice…but we’ll see in a month or two, as the weather improves.
“It’s just crazy how many people are scumbags who pretend to be nice to get what they want.”
>A LOT. Hell, that’s most ppl. I’m talking sociopaths. There’s a difference between just a shitty person and a sociopath. A sociopath has a very specific meaning, and although I despise 99% of all humans and think most humans are selfish and shitty, there aren’t that many sociopaths. Bc that involves not having the ability to care or feel emotions for others like a normal person. And most ppl have emotions.
If your sister has difficulty pretending to like someone to get what she wants, then she’s just a terrible person, not a sociopath. A real sociopath has NO problems pretending and manipulating, and these ppl are masters at it. These ppl have NO real feelings for humans, bc they don’t have the ability to have empathy.
why did i have to be so screwed in life?
why was i born to such shitty parents?
all i ever wanted was to be happy and loved. that’s fucking it.
and even worse, the Universe has it out for me. constantly throwing shit at me. i’m fucking tired of it.
Ya I’m going throw my own bs set of issues, one of my sisters is also (the one I’m close with).
I should’ve been a lot further ahead in life, I jumped through all the right hoops but never received the rewards I busted my azz to get.
Finding an s/o is on me, I made stupid decisions and I’m lucky and grateful for the opps that I did get…I just wish I played my hand more wisely and treated each opportunity as a precious gift, rather than something that will always come to me.
At the end of the day it just boils down to the circumstances that we find ourselves in. Sometimes they work in our favor sometimes against us.
What’s key is to use the chances you get to advance yourself as much as possible.
Occasionally you’ll hear about some beautiful girl who died in a car accident, or was a victim of the terrorist attack on Oct 7, or just ends up homeless with nobody to help them.
I saw that irl and it’s one of the saddest things…it’s bad enough for an ordinary person but even sadder when it happens to someone who’s very pretty.
You can tell right away that look in her eyes has has no home and later ends up on the streets covered in dirty blankets in the middle of winter….if I had my own house I would’ve let her stay till she was on her own two feet…but I was living with family at the time in a small cramped apt.
But it goes back to your point…so many humans end up in a place where they didn’t ask for or deserve. It can be traced back to bad people having kids and then not looking after them or abusing them.
My other sister is the kind to throw out her own family members….she’s always been an irresponsible moron and not the type who should be allowed to have kids.
So ya, this is what happens in a world that has uncontrolled breeding. It’s all randomized, some lives are great, others are awful, few people ever care.
*through (not throw) -excuse the typos.
I also meant to add that some people may look like they have ‘perfect’ lives…but that suddenly end or end horrifically….and while my life isn’t great…I wouldn’t want to switch places with those people I mentioned above.
We live in a shitty world that doesn’t value human life very much, except for the rich.
well i was that beautiful girl that was hit by a car. that is me. i used to be very thin and pretty, and full of life despite the shit childhood i had (and my childhood was shit *because* my sisters and mother hated me and were jealous of my looks). growing up with ALL females when you’re a female is the shittiest thing.
Ya some key events can be pivotal to one’s life…I’ve had those too…but not like yours (getting in a car accident)…but the consequences were almost as bad in destroying my life.
If not for the car accident, your health might’ve been fine…and with your good looks you would’ve found a guy to build a life with and get away from your evil family.
Jealousy, esp in a family can be a terrible thing as well….not to mention favoritism.
My POS dad hated me because I reminded him of my mom. He’s good at using people, just like my evil sister Helga…my mom had the education and he didn’t.
That’s what allowed them to escape the poverty in their country…but I think at bottom my dad always disliked my mother and used her to get himself to a good place like Canada.
Then when he know longer needed her, his real feelings came out-against her and me. I think if he could’ve he would’ve kept us kids out of his life too…but I think his guilt wouldn’t let him.
At least he wasn’t an absolute psychopath and had some feelings for his kids…because tbh without both their help we couldn’t have gotten a good education and my sisters wouldn’t have been able to marry.