I’m a tad scared

I had a stroke and now the docs want a brain cortex MRI. I’ve been having massive massive headaches and really nothing helps to ease the throbbing pain that develops. Even Percocet doesn’t help. My vision is screwed up too. Sometimes when I stand up things get very wobbly and lightheaded. The doctors think that I have bleeding going on inside the noggin. So, I get the great pleasure of a brain MRI. I honestly just with I’d turn off and be gone. I do not want to go through this anymore. I’m scared and bewildered beyond what my brain can handle. If there is really any brain left. I’m losing my memory, and the forgetfulness is growing. Who am I sometimes is center stage. I can’t remember simple things…like birthdays, my address, and sometimes while driving I get lost and have to stop and re-group. I’m lost in my own jungle inside the brain. I just wish I had an off switch, and I could delete myself……I beg god to let me die and get it over with. Maybe my Xmas gift. I couldn’t be so lucky.