Hi I’m here after maybe 3 years of no posting to ask for your forgiveness.
I lied.
I told people that my big sister died and was in connection with Rina Palenkova but that’s not true.
Niela did really exist but I changed things in her story to make them mine!
I wanted people to care for me as the only thing they cared about is my old friend who is the real sister of Niela !
My old friend just learned about it as she typed her stage name on the web and saw the other profile I made with it lying too on this page.
She started threatening me that she will go to the police station if I don’t delete anything but I don’t remember the password of the other profile !
I’m really sorry
May the real Niela rest in peace ! 1996-2012 ?
I also lied about being dead because my mom saw that page and ask me to stop and delete everything !
Please forgive me !
2 comments
There is nothing to forgive. Don’t feel bad! This site is for people to express their suicidal thoughts any way they can. Some people write stories or poetry, some talk about themselves or others. I’ve seen some really wild things here, but it’s all just a way to express what we’re feeling.
I forgive you.
You cannot force people to like you or not like you, to care or not care. I used to be like this too. I used to lie in order to make people feel certain things or think certain ways. I wanted people to like me and find me interesting. So I approached socialization the same way I approach turn-based RPG video games: in a situation, make an optimal selection, this result is created, etc.
It doesnt work. You will achieve the opposite and push people away.
A friendship is a tower you build together with another. If the other person builds with bricks and trusts that you do too, but you decide to build with wood, the tower wont hold. The wood rots, or it burns, or it gets blown away the moment a strong wind comes by, and the tower falls. And imagine how beyrayed, sad, and disappointed the other person is ti find out that all they built genuinely amounted to nothing. Lies are the same way. If you want friends, you have to build with the same things theyre building with: truth, empathy, vulnerability.
Admitting this is a good step. Instead of thinking about you cam do to make people like you, think instead about how you can bring someone joy, or make them feel loved and cared about. Serve. Be a friend to someone else first.
I need to take my own advice here. Best of luck to you.