The siren call of the road not taken

There’s never enough time to do everything one wants to do, even in 90 years. Only so many bachelors degrees, masters degrees, doctorates, research projects, children to have, and especially apparently careers to be had since companies absolutely will not cooperate.

and while I’m waiting here in the ether, waiting for a company to cooperate, the siren call of the road not taken keeps bugging me. I found out last week I could go back for a second bachelors. I had thought that would be stupid, but when the advisor told me about it I thought about finishing up my second major in computer science.

Then last night I heard the siren call of the real roads not taken;

Do you know what I would have been if I could go all the way back to freshman year and start again? An engineer, either civil or electrical. If I did civil I’d be going into drainage because there’s a lot about how drainage systems are set up that fascinates me and I always wish I could have gotten deeper into it. Electrical would be really awesome too though because I would love to work on generators.

I was looking at CAD modeling software and thinking about how I missed out. Then I realized that I’m probably only two or three years away from that degree. That and a few tens of thousands of dollars. However maybe the job market isn’t as lousy over there as it is in behavioral health? One has to wonder. I’d enjoy being brilliant again is the main thing, because academics is so low stakes compared to work, they have to make assignments achievable. They have to let you enroll in classes. They have to let you graduate.

It isn’t that way in the job market. Of course grad school isn’t any better than the job market so far. I just want someone to give me a shot, give me some work to do and a reason to get up in the morning other than to play my video games and to watch my movies. I don’t think I’d get much gratification from paying for it. Yet, I long for meaning, and I have a world class engineering school close by. It’s tempting is my point.