I write an entry maybe once every other day. I’ve needed to because I just don’t have anything else going on in my life. School kept me busy. A job would probably do the same if I could get one. But I just don’t care about any of it. Every time I think about killing myself, it’s so matter of fact. Like I’m thinking of calling in sick cause I don’t want to go somewhere. I guess killing yourself because you don’t want to deal with the things that come with life is pretty childish. But I’m ok with being childish. I just can’t stand my own existence anymore. Everything about it feels wrong.

I’ve got an interview this week maybe? They still haven’t scheduled it yet. They want me to do a power point presentation. Because a traditional interview is not enough for them apparently. I’m just putting my resume onto a slideshow. What else do they want me to do? The point is to talk about why I’m “good” for the job and that’s what my resume is supposed to do. It’s not even a job I think I’m a good fit for. Only somewhat overlaps with what I went to school for. I keep applying for jobs that I don’t think I’d be good at because I’m scrapping the bottom of the barrel. I want to say I’ve applied to around 200 positions. Give or take. So I’m struggling to find anything that’s left. And besides I don’t think I’m capable of any job anyways.