I just don’t have anymore motivation to apply for jobs. I already didn’t want to go into industry, now I’m not even welcome there. Originally I didn’t think it would be too difficult to find some mid company to work for and do the bare minimum for. I have these moments of arrogance that go completely against my extreme lack of self confidence. I get the crippling anxiety that comes with no confidence with the shortsightedness of my arrogance. There are literally no companies that I find interesting to work for. They all just blend together saying and doing the exact same thing. Faceless soulless monsters called companies. Now that I realize that I’ll probably be stuck in industry for the rest of my life, I’m even less interested in applying for these jobs. All the jobs that did look interesting weren’t interested in me. I’m also hesitant to move to another state, as much as I hate Texas. Don’t want to end up in another southern state or the mid west. Can’t think of any where I want to live besides Massachusetts again. No jobs there I haven’t applied for. Just scraping the bottom of the barrel.
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So, where then? Another country? You’re still relatively young so you could switch industries or apply your talents in a different way, I’ve done a few different things, probably will do a few more different things…..
I can relate though, I applied to the only three jobs willing to deal with my medical card, that’s the deal breaker that most employers in Oklahoma have. It’s like oh shit, if you use THC during your time off so you can sleep and eat even though you have every legal right, we’ll deny you employment.
I guess I should figure out how to actually work in the cannabis industry, but that is saturated as hell as far as I can tell.
Are there still bounties? I remember when I was a younger man there were bug bounties by large companies that if an enterprising person could find them they could cash out and get a pretty big cash prize from companies like Microsoft, Google and so on, that was a way programmers out of work could survive when the market was entirely dry, like it is now.
Reframing, that’s the way to deal with a shitstorm like we’re both in right now. So if either of us can find ways to cash in on bounties or free lance gigs… it would be something. I don’t pretend to have hope, I don’t. What I do have is a lack of ability to die, the same as you. It seems like that is something we’ll both be retaining for awhile yet.