24 Weeks left. I finished my training now. They are putting me on actually shifts. No more 9 – 5. Now I get 12 hour shifts starting at 4 in the morning. Wonderful. Shadowing the other technicians wasn’t so bad. It was mainly replacing the bands on conveyor belts. Except for that 3 hour stint of them trying to cut off a section of a belt and stitching it together. I loved just staring at them trying to align the clips for like an hour. Still I’m sure I’ll find a way to fuck it up.
My tooth is driving me crazy. I had like 3 fillings in the same tooth in the past month or so. The dentist back home apparently really sucks at her job. Feel bad for people that suck at their job. Anyways I went to a new dentist since I moved and they said I needed a special type of filling that had medicine in it or something. First time they put it in it fell out without me knowing so I was convinced I was going to need a root canal. They just found the problem today and put it back in. Now it doesn’t hurt anymore. At least not as much. Just a tiny bit of sensitivity left but that should be fine. Now I got to go in on Thursday again and do a regular filling to replace it. Great. I get to work 9 hours that day then go to the dentist to get a filling. On my birthday. I guess it’s not a root canal though. I knew I should’ve killed myself 2 years ago like I said I would.
Dating app update. Pretty sure these things are made by the devil. This experience just tells me that I was right all along about this sort of thing. The commodification and banality of finding companionship. I’ve seen more selfies of random strangers in the last week than I have in my entire life. I found hardly any of them to be interesting. They all look very pretty and out of my league but I know nothing about them. The snippets that are supposed to tell me about their personality and interests are always so milquetoast. Not like I’m one to talk. All I said is I like video games and cage the elephant. Not much to go on for my profile either. Sometimes there are profiles that pique my interest. They either have cool tattoos or posted a picture of some art they did. But for the most part I don’t really feel anything. I skip and skip and skip and can feel my eyes glaze over and my brains leaking out of my ears. And in the end none of it will matter. No one has talked to me on there. No one will ever give a shit about my ugly ass face and bland hobbies. It’s all pointless. Recently I did find one girl on there who seemed pretty cool. She really likes the arcade and art. I gave her a rose, a special like so she could see it first. But it doesn’t matter. There are a million reasons why she would never talk to me and maybe a handful of reasons why she would. This was a few hours ago. Chances are she didn’t even see it. I flipped a coin on if I should delete my profile. Came up tails. It gets to stick around for another week. This whole dating app thing will probably be the most pointless thing I’ll ever do. And that’s saying something.