What do you do?
I feel like there isn’t anything that actually helps. I’m sure there’s some good therapists somewhere. But good luck finding the 5% that’s actually helpful. No suicide line or warm line or hospital or mental health clinic does any jack all good. Neither do pills as all they do is numb you to your pain and shitty life.
No friends want to hear you or listen to you. “Friends” are only friends when they want something FROM you. But no one wants to BE a good friend.
I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, weed. Nor do I want to start. But what can I do to feel better? Hell, I can’t even handle caffeine so that’s out too. And there’s no good food places near me so that’s out too.
Short of a better life with more money and better environment and neighborhood. At least you can have peace and quiet and calm in a nice neighborhood vs being in a shitty neighborhood with shitty ass neighbors in a tiny cramped single room -_-
I’m tired of being poor and sick. My depression stems from that.
Like what can one do?
All short term things like reading, walking, drugs etc are pretty useless.
And it’s near impossible to change long term things like housing, money, health.
Even friends are hard to make nowadays. Real friends I mean. Even for “normal” non depressed ppl. Near impossible for a disabled depressed non working person. Aka what society views as worthless -_-
I’m just tired of being stuck in a shitty ass life. What about you?
4 comments
Well, I’ve always said dissociation is the grade A stuff, however you can get it. Escaping the world you’re in, exploring one someone else has created, it can keep you occupied for weeks if not months. Of course drugs help with that, but you said you don’t want that help.
You don’t like the worlds other people create? You create your own, visualize it, code it, write it, draw it, somehow you’ve got to pour this energy that you would be putting into hating the world you are in into creating a world that is less painful.
There’s an upshot to this as well, if you write a book or series of short stories, or code a game world for yourself you can very likely sell it and raise some money and get out of the hellish environment you are in.
Reading other people’s stories makes you better at writing your own. Playing other people’s games makes you better at writing your own, in theory.
Pets help with the loneliness. We have two cats and a dog, getting another dog tomorrow. One of our cats loves to sit on my lap while I watch TV, and that helps me a lot. Streaming services, TV and movies help.
I’ve spent a lot of time unemployed in this house. It really isn’t that bad, considering. I mean 3 beds and one bath is pretty nice, I’ll admit, but the floor in the kitchen and bath are falling apart.
The thing is that more than a few of my neighbors are as stuck as I am. Old people aren’t able to work either. So I figure if they can survive it…. Maybe I can. This place is like flypaper, people get stuck here.
However, if you work at it you can climb out of being stuck. That’s what I believe. I did the whole Babe Ruth thing and pointed off in the distance, said I’m going to shoot for that place way over there and get out of this place, now it’s hitting the damn baseball.
There’s a reason it was impressive when Babe Ruth managed to do that, you know? It wasn’t like he was an average batter, he was superb. Now thank god I’m not doing it in baseball, because I’m lousy at baseball, but I’m doing it in psychology which I am actually pretty damn good at.
Hmmm, I had to look it up and the actual accuracy of the called shot story is in some historical doubt, whether that was what Ruth meant in the moment. Yet the story is bigger than the man, and despite his own biographer doubting the story, the fans believed, and popular culture has cemented it in history.
I just read a lot about Babe Ruth, really a giant of a man who was only taken down by cancer and ALS. Donald Trump actually awarded him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and I never thought I would agree with him on something.
One of the writers who actually was there in the 40s when Ruth died said;
The fascination with his life and career continues. He is a bombastic, sloppy hero from our bombastic, sloppy history, origins undetermined, a folk tale of American success. His moon face is as recognizable today as it was when he stared out at Tom Zachary on a certain September afternoon in 1927. If sport has become the national religion, Babe Ruth is the patron saint. He stands at the heart of the game he played, the promise of a warm summer night, a bag of peanuts, and a beer. And just maybe, the longest ball hit out of the park.
I don’t know, American kid I still am at heart, Babe Ruth represents what I thought this country should be about.
That’s what I mean about getting wrapped up in someone else’s story. Maybe it can inspire you. Stories are the best drug there is, because they don’t cost anything most of the time. That’s why I’m so into narrative psychology, because I think there’s treatment potential in stories.
Welp the sad truth is we’re deadass screwed. You know what astronomers say about black holes, there’s a point called the event horizon which, if you pass, the pull of the hole is so strong that literally nothing can escape, not even light, literally nothing in the universe can pull you out.
I firmly firmly believe that there’s an “event horizon” with regard to suffering & prolonged trauma. It makes cottage cheese out of your mind the longer you rot in unbearable conditions like you described, like I’m dealing with, especially if you’re alone you can’t even cling to “misery loves company” the way say 2 suffering people can brave the worst together. When you’re completely tf alone the pain is magnified because your mind turns on itself, blaming yourself or regretting perceived mistakes or even inventing new regrets & guilt to explain the tragedy (even if it wasn’t your fault AT ALL).
I think I’m one feeble step better off than you because I still have some drugs that help in a pinch. There’s a reason why there’s a benzo/opioid crisis in this country (America and nowhere else it seems) because with all my heart I believe America is the shittiest place to be poor and alone; it’s like being dumped at the gates of Disney World watching everyone else have fun while you’re not allowed in because you can’t afford the entry fee. It’s the worst, most hopeless feeling, unlike at least in 3rd world countries where there’s no Disney World and they’re all in the suffering together.
Back to what “works”, yea drugs for me, but of course they come with a brutal price which, at least, you’re spared from feeling. That feeling of waking up from Disney World and realizing it was all just a stupid dream and in actuality you were just passed out on the filthy bathroom floor the whole time.
I guess all we can do is finish the ride. Maybe that’s the one bright spot in all of this: while everyone else craps their pants at the thought of death, for us it’s the ultimate Disney World and this one we’re guaranteed entry.
Yup, ppl reach for drugs bc that’s the quick easy temporary “fix.” But it never solves anything long term. The medical industrial complex knows that but still pushes drugs bc it’s so profitable.
At least you’re aware of how bad and toxic the psychiatric and pharmaceutical drugs are. We have been brainwashed to think anything that comes from a drs prescription is good and not harmful to us.
Yup, America is one of the shittiest places to be poor. But good luck trying to convince the avg American that. Ppl still believe we “have it so good here.”