Do you feel like life is just passing you by? That every year you get older but yet nothing in your life really changes? i.e. you’re still poor, still stuck at the same crappy job (or another crappy job), still stuck in that shitty house/city/state; still alone (even if you attempted multiple times and have gone out on dates, end result is still alone) etc
Do you feel like trying just nets the same result as not trying? That “resistance is futile?”
I mean we SHOULD try- after all, if we don’t play the lotto, we’ll never win. But winning the “lotto of life” seems as improbable as winning the actual lotto.
Should one expend all our energy only to wind up in the same fucking situation where nothing has changed or improved? Especially if you’ve already tried multiple times but have been struck down, and kicked, time and again and again?
And how do we scrounge up enough energy to get back up and try yet again?
46 comments
I guess that’s the joke/curse of life. We don’t have a choice. Even though it’s clear that we’re fucked, that nothing we do will make a difference, we have to do something because sitting still is as much of a torture as failing.
We should all just lie down & rot, expending the least amount of effort, but it’s impossible. Sooner or later we have to get up and do something, even if it’s just spinning in circles. It’s the curse of being alive.
Just lie down and die is the only response to a system rigged against us. What else can one do? We’re all fighting and working hard as hell for scraps- if one can even get the scraps.
And then there’s idiots spawning more victims for the rich to use/enslave.
More workers = less power/less wages/less bargaining/less freedom for the masses
I don’t understand how Americans are too stupid to understand this. People spawning 5,6,7,8,20 kids. And think the rich have a depopulation agenda so they’re purposely spawning more to spite the rich. You can’t make this shit up. Ppl are stupid.
I had a neighbor have 5 kids. It was fucking nonstop noise.
More kids = more competition for jobs. They’re only bringing the future generations more problems. Even India realizes the problem and ppl have stopped spawning like crazy. And guess what? The second the birth rate went down, India’s standard of living rose. Same with China after the forced one child policy.
But Nope, Americans don’t have 2 brain cells to rub together. More children = more ppl fighting for scraps.
fucking nailed it. People spawning wantonly is the root of all this shit. Not only does it condemn a newborn soul to this hell without their consent, but it breeds more suffering at large, while feeding the rich on our suffering.
I try not to spew my views on this because I know most people want biological kids for whatever personal reasons I won’t argue anymore than I’ll argue whether “god” has a beard or not, but yeah… good to know someone else gets it, in my book it’s the only cardinal sin because it’s literally what keeps hell running.
Everyone yearning for the old days should remember that the old days didn’t have 8 billion fucking mouths to feed, all fighting for food and money and a place to sleep. Imagine a bloodbath in the ocean, a feeding frenzy of sharks… who in their right mind would say “GOLLY WE NEED MORE SHARKS”
If ppl really want kids, I give ppl leeway- on TWO kids MAX. Is that not generous? No one needs more than 2 kids. More than that is just stupid. All that does is increase competition and hate between siblings, reduce resources bc the more kids you have the LESS rss and attention each kid gets. And ofc inheritance. In todays world, if you’re born with no inheritance, you’re pretty much a “working man” aka at the mercy of your overlords with no safety security net.
And this is why I have no friends. Everyone loves to think about all this lovey-dovey fluffy happy happy fiction. When reality is nothing close to it, especially if you were born poor.
There is only one other person that I know IRL that believes the same way I do, but he is kind of a douche bag so I only talk to him on and off online.
Even in “misanthrope” groups, ppl only post memes and stupid shit. On EVERY single fucking misanthrope group. It’s full of 2yo’s. Can’t have a meaningful discussion on anything. Half of these ppl Probably don’t even know what misanthrope means.
I would really like to meet someone who is like me ideologically and politically IRL. But very few ppl think like I do or have the thoughts and beliefs as I do.
Forever a lone wolf.
I feel like an alien octopus in a world full of sheeple.
No one understands me, and no one for me to connect with.
You would think statistically, there would just be TONS of ppl like me online. After all, even 0.01% of 7.8B is still 78M. So where are my homies?
how come I can’t find very many ppl, even online let alone IRL, with even remotely like 10% of my views?
I mean seriously, there are literally weird ass ppl who drink their own urine and ppl who drink real blood. Seen documentaries on this. These people have found others just as weird and out there like them.
How come I can’t find anyone like me? Is that not the strange part?
I mean I found a few people who believed small segments of what I believe in, but nothing close to even 25% of my beliefs.
Just politically, I am neither a democrat (not anymore) and definitely not a republican. So that already eliminates like 90% of ppl. At least Americans. Even people who claim to be “independents” Still identify with either Left or Right. And forget the libertarians- I don’t believe in no government bc that would be chaos and would also lead to vulture capitalism, Except even worse because we wouldn’t even have the US post office or public firefighters.
@eternaldarkness Finding like-minded souls is hopeless.
The problem is, no one has lived your life. When we’re really young, like grade school, it’s easy to make friends because most kids in the same school system have reasonably similar lives. Kids are apolitical (unless they’re parroting what their parents brainswash them, but you can tell those immediately). Kids aren’t inherently entrenched in any belief system, so it’s like they’re all true independents. Easy to make friends.
But every year that ticks by, we each get more mired in our own personal belief systems. Most people, by the age of 25 are already dug deep into some popular ideology, whether it’s left or right.
Like you said, if you reject both the left & right, then that’s like 90% of Americans who won’t accept you.
Generally I’ve found the left to be way more accepting to independents. The right is more like “my way or the highway” whereas I can generally hang at a party of lefties without any offenses taken or made. But that’s not the same as finding friends. That’s just, like, peacefully coexisting.
I’ve found pockets of like-minded people in charitable institutions. Whatever you believe in, whether it’s planting trees or helping cancer kids or saving whales, if you join a group of these like-minded people then things go nicely. You can even cross political borders.
But that only lasts as long as you’re working together on something. Again, it’s just kinda like peaceful coexistence, not actual friendship.
I guess the bottom line is unless you latch onto a group/label that defines you, you’re screwed.
That’s true, the older we get, the more “set in our ways” most ppl are, and the more varied experiences we all have.
I grew up in very liberal cities and states most of my life. I was always a “lefty” until the 2015 and then 2019 primaries where the fucking democrats screwed over Bernie Sanders- TWICE.
I hate the Democratic Party bc they are just as corrupt as the Republican Party. Neither party cares about their ppl. They only SAY nice things the left wants to hear but never actually DOES anything (like raise the min wage etc)
The last few years I got sick of ppl in the dem party bc of certain issues and also the fact that many lefties (regular ppl not just the Dems in power) ARE pompous, arrogant, and think they’re “above” you. The right is right about that shit. Smug. That’s the word. Many Dems are smug. The regular ppl I mean. Not even talking about the hideous ppl in charge of the dem party or the dem mouthpieces (the don lemon and Rachel Maddox types. Or the idiot gaggle of insufferables at The View. Just a few examples. There’s obviously Biden who was crap. As was Kamala. I lived in CA for over a decade. Nobody likes fucking Kamala. Even in CA. She was and is evil. Yes I also hate trump but let’s not pretend the democrats are great. They’re all shitty and all in cahoots and collusion with each other- the left and right. These fuckers go to each other’s weddings, attend baseball games together, go golfing together, have lavish 1000$ a plate dinners Together etc. there is no “left” vs “right.” It’s rich vs us. Until ppl realize it and act like it instead of going after each other, we are fucking doomed. But you’re immediately cast as evil if you’re from the other party or do not tow the party line in every way.
So Everything was “fine” as long as I towed the Democratic line. But stray a TINY bit from the controlled fabricated dem narrative, and the members go after you like killer wasps. Even Ana Kasparian felt that a few years ago when she DARED to stray even an inch from the dem narrative. Using her as an example bc she is a very public/known figure and went from Democratic darling to being hated on when she said ONE thing the left didn’t agree with.
I wasn’t in the least bit political until the 2015 primaries.
Ideologically and economically, I’m a lefty. But I’m also not an idiot that follows EVERYTHING the left says. Bc they lie to us. Just like the right lies to their base.
People need to start thinking critically of EACH issue rather than “oh my party thinks this so therefore I also think this” and just go along like blind lemmings.
That goes for the left and right.
I am just done with idiots. As well as pompous asses who think they know everything (on both sides).
I think we should think critically about each individual topic rather than fall in line with EVERYTHING the left or right says.
And for that, I get cast as a black sheep.
There are some things I don’t agree with on the left. There are some recent things I agree with on the right (most things I disagree with and definitely not MAGA). But if you agree with ONE thing on the right, the left will immediately tar and feather you. Which is stupid and ridiculous.
There is no single party where everything they say is right, or honest. Not the left, not the right. Heck, 90% And what they tell both the left and the right are lies, designed to benefit the rich and not the masses.
Anyway yeah, since about 2020, I gave up talking to people. Mention ONE thing that the republicans are actually right about and get crucified and doxxed by the left.
“I was always a “lefty” until the 2015 and then 2019 primaries where the fucking democrats screwed over Bernie Sanders- TWICE.”
Holy shit SAME!
When they buried Bernie, the dumbass dem party alienated an entire generation right there. I tell you, at least here in the northeast there was so much enthusiasm for Bernie among the millennials & young-minded GenXers. He represented the first hope for real change I’d ever seen.
But they buried him because the dumbass dems were convinced they could steamroll the establishment Clintons back in. A total slap in the face. I always hated Billybub even long before he started screwing interns in the oval office and when Hillary played the good wife, she became a conspirator. Just another sleazy pair of rich establishment players.
I didn’t vote that round. I would’ve voted Libertarian (back before they sold their soul to the Republicans) but in the end I was just too irritated at the whole shitshow to bother. Not like my vote would’ve changed anything.
Anyway, like you said, it’s not even a matter of politics. It’s purely the rich screwing us under both parties’ banners. They all switch teams anyway. Trump used to be a Dem. All his cronies, Fuckerberg, Bozos, they used to be Dems until the power went to the Republican and suddenly they’re all right wingers. Like you said, left-right politics are both a scam. It’s all about billionaires controlling us from both sides.
The sad thing is the few of us who have made this realization, we suffer. We suffer because we don’t even have a team. I honestly think a lot of people are left in limbo like we are, but we’re too fragmented (and fucking depressed) to find each other, much less band together.
It’s so much easier to jump off a bridge than to make a friend.
“I guess the bottom line is unless you latch onto a group/label that defines you, you’re screwed.”
>>Pretty much. I don’t belong to ANY group. I’m more jack of all trades rather than hard core on any one thing.
And yes, I have tried to do volunteering in the past. All kinds of volunteering from helping puppies to planting trees to helping build log cabins, etc. all sorts of shit. But All that did was leave me fucking jaded Because 95% of these “charitable organizations” are full of shit.
Hell, if I were a flat-Earther, I would find more people than ppl who share my views on the world/humans.
Pro-suicide / anti-reproduction would be disadvantageous in terms of evolution / survival of the species, so it’s not surprising that many individuals are instinctively opposed to those ideas.
In an ideal situation, I’m sure someone like you would have a bunch of friends…mostly intellectuals, because you need to be around thinkers, it’s what stimulates you and them.
Like my handful of friends are mostly educated also and we discuss deep ideas…but also we can be a bunch of goofballs and joke around.
You have to be in the right social circles, schmooze around. The best place in my experience is meeting people in university/college…outside of that it’s tough to make new friends.
I’m stuck in a rut cause of where my life is right now…it’s hard to get out and socialize. So I do that online mostly. I met a gorgeous girl online and she also took a liking to me, but she’s thousands of miles away in the US and I’m here in Canada.
So I cooled it off, because I know it’s just not realistic to pursue that in my present situation.
What I mean to say is that there are compatible people we’d connect with in the world out there…but getting together is the hard part.
I’ve done a long distance relationship before and it’s not really worth it unless you have lots of money and time to travel or your job allows it.
In your case, as I understand, your health is holding you back…if you were fine then you could make money and build a social group around you.
My close sister either lost or cut off all her friends…she just has family as her friends and I can see how she messes up in some social situations, without realizing it because she lacks that outside feedback/education to make her more well rounded.
I use to get angry with her, but I’m trying hard to be more understanding because she just doesn’t get some basic things and cues that normal people would.
I wish I was as rich as Elon Musk, I’d definitely try to step in and help some people get back on their feet who are held back mostly due to money.
We all deserve at least a basic life…by that I mean, decent housing, friends/family, job, etc…central to that is health and income.
Without those things life is sad, miserable, painful and made worse because we can see others doing well, but can’t have that same life.
My current situation is made worse because of where I live…I’m barely hanging onto my job. They’ve been understanding but I know they would love to fire me.
Frankly I’d love to leave this job also and become self-employed but I don’t have enough money to do that just yet, but I’m working on it. Moving to a better place will help a lot too.
*my reply above was for Eternal
@1heart- There’s a difference in having 2 kids vs popping out 20. I’ve said that I give ppl leeway in have 1-2 children. But beyond that. Especially ppl who have 5,6,7,8 or 20, is a bit much. And no, it’s not ok bc usually the kids wind up not taken very well of in those super large families.
What about gay ppl? They’re not great for “evolution” or “survival of the species” as they do not procreate (IVF aside).
But actually, gay ppl and NOT having a million kids ARE good for evolution and survival of a species. When a population of animals for example get too large, the whole community or species become in danger as there are too many fighting for the same resources. And sometimes that collapses the whole community of those animals or birds or insects when their population gets too large.
Same can be said for humans. Too many humans and too many breeding ever more creates problems for the species. More is not always better.
@ Soda- No, it’s mainly the lack of money that’s keeping me from enjoying life and actually living a life. Bad Health is a consequence of being poor. -_-
I mean yes, one causes the other but the other causes the one. It’s a feedback loop. It’s a vicious cycle.
@ Soda- heh, I was wondering why you stopped being active on SP. So You “met” a pretty girl. :p
How long did your online romance last?
@Eternal
Ya money is the main issue in life-and all other consequences follow from that (like bad health).
Like in my case, the job is good (average pay), one of the best companies to work for in this field….but because of my budget I chose a cheaper place to live, but then hugely affected the quality of my life.
It was meant to be temporary until I saved up for a downpayment for a condo or house, but you often get stuck in bad situations. My last place sucked too (for those who remember my history here), but foolishly I didn’t think it could happen again, but it did.
I learned the hard way, it’s always best to pay more for a nicer place so you get peace of mind and don’t live near lunatics who affect your life.
Fortunately I also learned (from my poorer days) to save as much money as I can for unexpected expenses (car repairs/moving, etc) so moving won’t be a problem for me (financially), aside from finding a new place and the nightmare of packing/unpacking…but otherwise I’m ok. It’s tough to do while you’re working too.
My challenge is to hold onto this position long enough, until I can make the jump to being self-employed. But I’m caught in my own vicious cycle too…however I’m headstrong and determined to succeed at what I have planned for myself for this year. Moving is the easy part really, the career switch is the major challenge, but I think I can do that too.
Ya I haven’t been on very often lately because my life had improved and stabilized a bit…also I find the more I’m here, the more I think about my own life, which can be a little discouraging. Though I do like to pop in from time to time.
I was somewhat triggered earlier today thinking how stupid I’ve been in not asking some girls out when I should’ve. It’s just those rare, golden moments in our lives we never get back.
What also sucks is that I doubt I’ll find any girls like I have in my past, that I took for granted, unless I get rich, even then it can be a challenge when you’re older.
As for the girl I met online, we never actually met IRL but chatted for a short while, till I realized it couldn’t really work out in my present state.
Of course if she was in my city, then it’d be easier to have a relationship. It was a nice distraction and also good to know that beautiful girls still take an interest in me, despite my age and thankfully I do look younger.
@dying- my problem with making friends and connections now is bc I no longer trust humans or see them as “good.” I’ve been screwed over one too many time by ppl and no longer trust most ppl, bc you CAN’T trust most ppl. Most people are selfish and are just there to benefit themselves. Most just won’t care about others while the rest just are out to use you in some way.
Either users or just don’t care. Either way 95% of people are not very good.
The proverbial “straw” has broken. I am no longer nice and sweet and kind to be used and screwed over by others. I never see people for what they truly are – either users or selfish people who don’t give a crap.
Not only was I screwed over by really horrible people, but when I was down or had my Leg Infection where I literally couldn’t walk or bend my legs – was there anybody that gave a damn or helped me in any way shape or form? NO. Not a single fucking “friend.” Not a single fucking family member. Nobody gave a shit and nobody helped me even a tiny fucking iota.
There’s no sense in being nice when 95% of people you meet will never give a damn about you. Only pretend to so they can use you in someway shape or form.
When you need a friend, there is none to be found. But when THEY need YOU, They expect you to be on your hands and knees helping them. When they have not done a single fucking thing to help you.
I truly feel for you.
It really boils my blood that Americans don’t have free healthcare in the US.
A few months ago I had a serious health issue I didn’t know about. Thanks to a keen doctor at my clinic who caught it and sent me to emergency.
I went through all the bs one has to…I saw how much it sucks to be in hospitals, but I also lucked out in that I got my own private room for most of the week I was there and that was covered by my workplace’s insurance (it was pricey).
Not to mention the expensive drugs are covered by my insurance, I only pay $10 per med…they cover the rest.
I’ll bet if you were in Canada, you’d have been fixed up like me and back to your normal life in a jiffy.
Another thing it taught me was that I never want to lose my health/independence, because like you said nobody can help you.
I know my mom would bend over backwards for me, but there’s a limit to how much I’d do for others or expect them to do for me.
Luckily throughout the health problem I had I was able-bodied and could look after myself.
I was incredibly weak after I got back home, but with rest/food and I got my strength back after a week or two.
I could say a lot about the experience, but glad it’s over, though I have to do some tests still.
When we’re young we couldn’t even imagine have health problems…aside from a cold/flu or maybe an accident.
But after you pass your 50s (for some of us), then you start experiencing things and start taking your health more seriously.
It boils down to keeping fit, healthy, eating right, usual stuff.
I care for a few people in my life, that’s why I keep going and also for some personal goals I want to achieve.
But if my life and/or health totally falls apart, no way to be live normally again, then I’m ‘checking out’ (taking Maid)…it’s a no brainer for me.
I also plan to stay around till my mom passes away because she couldn’t live by herself and I don’t think my other family members would help her.
One of my greatest fears is to end up paralyzed, totally dependent on others for survival. It happened to my dad’s friend who was in a car accident…long story but he suffered a lot until they finally pulled the plug after many years.
It’s just a remind of our fragility and how things can change overnight…one day you’re ‘happy go-lucky’…next day you’re in a hospital bed in pain.
All the more reason eutha.nasia should be available for anyone, anytime, esp. in hospitals.
“I learned the hard way, it’s always best to pay more for a nicer place so you get peace of mind and don’t live near lunatics who affect your life”
>>that’s the exact same predicament I am in now. Got here in 2023 and I’m fucking stuck. My life wasn’t this bad before that. Before those AH neighbors and before the infection. If I never came here I wouldn’t be in this situation. I regret coming here. Regret listening to my shitty uncle. I would I could undo this move, but now my body is damaged. I was NOWHERE this bad iff physically before.
Yep, where you live has a huge impact on your life, the biggest is sleep/peace of mind. Ofc a poorly maintained place and bad neighbors makes it worse.
My mistake was to drag my heels…but it’s also hard on my mom, she in her late 70s now…and she hates to move.
Your doctors really let you down. Any infection is nothing to trifle with…I’ve had some in my life also and all I can say is thank science for antibiotics.
They have many powerful ones still available for more serious infections, but it’s a question of accessing them in your case and cost.
If you can get your health back in order you’ll have a chance to find better work and it’s the domino effect, your life gets better.
Also I know you don’t have any good family/friends…but if there’s a way to have someone be there for you, even if it’s just someone to talk to, it can help you feel better mentally.
I’ve been on the edge of losing friends/family numerous times…it was terrible and I knew I’m the kind of person who needs a support network. So I just got better at letting things slide and trying to get along with people.
If I was in a strong position financially, I’d never talk to my dad again, because he was an azzhole to me most of my life and doesn’t deserve my company or advice.
I think most of us set aside differences just to have people in our lives. I don’t want to end up like my sister who cuts people off if they don’t fit in her life.
Like for a while she and her spouse were flying high financially but made some bad decisions in real estate and their company is going down because of AI…so now they’re struggling.
I think that made her arrogant (when they were doing well), like she cut off a decent friend because she had a bit of a drinking problem and complained about her life…but otherwise she was nice (and pretty) and has a daughter.
People let money get to their heads and have no patience for those who are doing worse than they are. Though some of her other friends turned out be users and azzholes…so they did deserve to be cut off. I got rid of a few bad people in my life and never regretted it.
“People let money get to their heads and have no patience for those who are doing worse than they are. ”
>>Bingo. Sadly, that’s how most people are here in the US.
Nobody wants to be friends with somebody who is poorer than they are, Let alone relationships.
Do you know how many profiles online I’ve seen where people literally writing on the requirements “must make greater than $100,000.”
AND These guys are ugly. If you’re a guy and you make a fuck ton of money then that’s one thing. But if you are just average guy with average skill with average income and in the city that I used to live 100 K was pretty average (Silicon Valley/Bay Area).
These guys
1- Did not have a good personality
2- Did not make more than your typical average salary
3- What’s the word ugly as fuck too not just average or eh, but UGLY. Like both physically and personality were ugly. And yet these fools demanded a girl that is beautiful, successful, makes a lot of money can cook clean, and all that. These fools think they can get a girl like that when they are not good looking AND have a terrible personality?
Like if you’re a guy looking for a hot chick, you generally have to either be very good-looking or have a lot of money. If you are neither AND you have a shit personality, why would a 10/10 girl go out with a 2/10 guy?
And these guys wonder why they are single? They are literally either incel or one step from being incel. Or very misogynistic.
The quality of guys here is horrible. It’s like the song “where have all the good men gone? “
They don’t seem to be in the US.
test
I hear you, SP wasn’t letting me post earlier…frigging crap site, hopefully it’ll post now.
Ya the US has become very consumeristic…it’s all about money/status, power….indeed the dating pool sucks for women with so many ugly, arrogant men out there.
To the women who feel they could do better, I wouldn’t settle…why waste your good looks on ugly incel losers? It’s better to try to find a good quality person somewhere else.
Those women competing for rich dudes are fighting a losing battle, because only 1% are millionaires or above…and they pick whoever they want.
At the same time it’s hard for them to find a guy (as you pointed out) who has the right qualities too.
I guess it’s a tough situation for both sexes finding an ideal partner, not to mention the cheating as well.
You can’t use the word “part.ner” that will get your post automatically flagged. Even though that is such a common word and is mostly used for a SO.
People aren’t really dating anymore in the US. And people don’t want to do anymore either. Men don’t want to due to the economy and the cost, they don’t want to spend money.
Men have become very very stingy. And if a man spends even $20 or $40, he expects sex in return, Which is ridiculous.
And yes, There are MANY men who think this way. As if a dinner means the girl has to give it up.
Which is why women don’t wanna date either because of so many shitty men like that.
And that’s separate from all the incel fake macho misogynistic types who try to be like Andrew Tate. LOTS of guys like that.
Every guy thinks he is a “alpha male” and acts like a douche. They all think Women like assholes, instead of nice guys. Which is BS. Women do like nice guys, but exciting nice guys, not boring nice guys. There’s a difference between boring and douche bag.
Contrary to popular TV shows and movies, women do NOT want to be with douche bags. But so many men think women do. And every guy thinks he has to act like an asshole to get a hot chick. And of course it doesn’t work. And they’re all still single.
And then they become even more bitter and angry towards women, which women can sense and feel, and becomes even more turned off towards these guys. This is especially true in the younger generations.
Dating is such a cluster fuck in the US now.
Doh, I didn’t realize I used ‘parrtner’ in that post…but I’m pretty sure I didn’t use it in my previous reply to you that wouldn’t post at all.
I normally catch those errors…anyways at least this one got approved.
ya I totally concur with what you said about Tate and misogynistic men.
People should just go Dutch…until they find there’s a connection…this way nobody’s upset at wasting money.
It’s insane to expect sex just cause the guy covered for food. It is kind of tough to be a female in our culture esp. with weird guys who pretend to be nice but are really azzholes inside.
No wonder fewer people are having kids and that’s can of worms on it’s own.
So you finally managed to get out of that shitty place only to get another bad neighbor where you are now?
Sounds like my kind of luck. I’ve also had a string of bad neighbors.
But like you said, it’s about money. The nicer the apt and neighborhood, the less likely one will have shit neighbors. But if one is poor or decides to be practical and save money, like you and I did, we wind up with AH shit neighbors that destroy our lives.
Indeed…I think it’s the city I live in and the type of shitty people that live here. It’s hit and miss 50/50, you could end up with someone nice or bad.
You nailed it in your post…I could’ve gone for a more expensive place but I’d have little savings or go cheaper and save up to pay off my car and ofc for buying a property.
Working itself is a whole other pain in the azz…though I am grateful for my office job because I’ve done worse jobs and by comparison it’s easier and most people there are nice.
However where you live is even more important….if you have people interrupting your life, it affects your mind, sleep, everything…then you miss work. It’s kind of obvious…but we just take for granted we’ll be ‘ok.’
Nope you have to be very choosy where you live and be willing to max out your budget if you have to, for that comfort and quiet you want.
SP was not letting me post earlier, now it threw a post into moderation. It just ruined my flow here.
I said nothing offense.
People don’t understand just how important money is. People just LOVE to say “money isn’t everything” or “money isn’t important.” People who say that shit have never been poor. It 100% affects 100% of your life.
I’ve met so many privileged people IRL and online where they grew up in a comfortable middle class income and have never known hardship, never have known what it is like to not have heat, Never known what it’s like to not have health insurance I live in a crap neighborhood where all the doctors are shit, Never know how awful it is to live In a shitty neighborhood with shitty people. It’s like people can’t imagine anything that isn’t from their own perspective in their own life.
I have an online “friend “– he constantly complains about his current neighbor and his past neighbor but from what he described it is literally nothing. Especially the current one. Where he occasionally hears Something every now and then. I told him he is super privileged to live in a nice neighborhood in a nice house (parents house), He’s never ever had to pay rent in his entire life other than a year in college, his current neighbor Doesn’t sound bad at all, his previous neighbor wasn’t great but it didn’t sound bad. And those are the only two neighbors he’s ever had that were “awful” And his entire life. And yet he constantly complains about every single minor thud. But 90% of the day and he, he hears nothing. Like obviously I didn’t say out loud he’s being a fucking baby and complaining about a tiny bit of noise for a few seconds or for a half hour while they’re cooking or whatever. He has no idea what truly shitty neighbors are like. Yeah he complains about them as if a single third when we out of nowhere during the entire day is a heinous crime. Like literally throughout the day or night he might hear one or two random thuds throughout the day and he goes ballistic over that, and the rest of the day and night it’s quiet.
People like that get on my nerves. He even admits his current neighbors “aren’t that bad” and it’s perfectly quiet majority of the day and night, but he still treats every single thud as if it were a huge affront to him. Literally a single thud sets him off.
He’s been super lucky his at his entire life That his parents make upper middle class income and he’s always had a pretty Cush upper middle class life (think private piano lessons kind of Cush privileged life). Yet he’s constantly complaining about every minor inconvenience and treats it like The worst thing he’s ever had to deal with in his life, which is exactly that – that he’s never had to deal with these things in his life before Because all his neighbors were pretty damn good and he was lucky to never have any issue with any neighbor up until Covid. When you live in a nice neighborhood, you generally have nicer neighbors, wealthy or neighbors who only have a few people in a very large space. Versus if you are poor you are not in the house you’re in a tiny apartment and everyone is cramped in. The neighboring house Is a three bedroom house. All of his neighbors up to the point where one or two adults with one or two kids Max. That’s it. So there isn’t that much noise because there’s only about 2 to 3 people on average that live in the connecting house.
Versus me I’ve had to live in a studio and I’ve had neighbors with three yes three people living in a fucking studio. The poorer you are, The more likely your neighbors are also poor and will cram a million fucking people into a tiny single fucking room. Like who has THREE fucking unrelated adults in a studio? There is only ONE room- The living room IS the bedroom.
And that is nowhere near as bad as a situation where I am now. Or my neighbors are absolute fucking dicks.
Anyhow, That guy isn’t even the worst one. Many people have never had to live in a poor neighborhood, or even a “working class neighborhood “which isn’t technically a ghetto or anything but not a rich area. Most people in my “network” of friends/acquaintances/ppl I talk to (college educated) all grew up In middle class or upper middle-class families where they’ve never had to deal with any of these issues the poor people or working class people have to deal with.
these people have zero empathy and zero Inkling of how Other half of the population have to live.
They only thing from their own perspective. Like if THEY have never had to experience something, Didn’t either doesn’t exist or that it’s not that bad. But mainly these people cannot see outside from their own personal lives.
Agreed, I’ve seen that so many times. They’re spoiled brats who haven’t seen the ugly side of life. Never had to struggle to pay rent, hold a job, fight with a landlord, etc.
It’s good to see them get theirs if they end up in a worse situation like if they parents force them to move out and get job/life.
What also really irks me is that younger people have gotten more selfish and inconsiderate of others.
Though I have issues with my dad, his community would actually help each other out if they got into tough spots.
I still carry some of that generosity with me…I’ve always gone the extra mile for friends/family and sometimes strangers…also like giving some cash to the poor.
But people today just have no sense of caring for others, which is pretty ugly to see.
A friend from work (actually she’s a manager too), one of the nicest people I’ve known had a similar situation to yours…living with roommates….she didn’t say a word about it, except to say she got the hell out of there as soon as she could.
I think a lot of people are going through hard times and end up in really crappy situations and it’s usually other people that make it bad.
The place I live in is newer/clean/nice, but it’s the neighbors that are the issue-ya lightning struck twice for me.
But this time I will try to rent a better place with more privacy so I can get on with my life.
“But people today just have no sense of caring for others, which is pretty ugly to see.”
>>Unfortunately, Americans are the worst in that aspect. Americans are the most selfish, callous, and ruthless. Everyone here is all about “I” and “me me me me me”
There is no sense of community because no one gives a crap about each other here.
Even before I was “disabled “ It was difficult making real friends because no one wanted to BE a real friend, But they certainly expected YOU to be when THEY suddenly need YOU.
That kind of BS pisses me off. Everyone is pretty much fake and shallow here.
Ya that’s true…happened in uni also for me. Though I lucked out finding the friends I have now…I’ve also known a ton of them (in my eng program) who were fake friends and just used you till they found someone better, or just couldn’t take a little constructive criticism.
It’s almost scary, because I can easily see being at war with such people for whatever reason, because they take no interest in building healthy relationships.
My friends aren’t perfect either…but we’re willing to tolerate each other’s differences and sorted out arguments…that’s the best one can expect.
One can also make ‘friends’ with romantic parrtners, but usually they want to use you for meeting their ‘needs.’
Anyhow, long story short, I would have been OK had a never moved here. But after getting that fucking infection which then cascading into a whole host of problems, and having the SHITTEST fucking AH neighbors ever (And I’ve had many many) it’s damaged my health and caused so much grief. And now I’m stuck bc Now my body is all damaged so now I can’t easily leave.
I am so pissed because my life would not be like this had I not fucking come here. And I never wanted to come here to begin with. My fucking uncle which turned out to be shitty, kept trying to convince me and convince me and convince me to come here, and I stupidly finally got convinced to come here to my detriment.
Sorry to hear, some of us are creatures of habit, we like to do the same predictable things all the time and hate to make changes…that’s why it takes so long.
What you and I should’ve done when we sense ‘danger’ or we’re in a bad trap is to ofc try to get out of it asap…even if it took 6 months to a year….that’s still better than languishing until your health is really compromised.
I don’t think I would’ve had the hospital visit if not for the stress I was going through while living here….also I haven’t been to the gym in ages which is what I wanted and needed to do, but again this place ruined that for me.
But it was a mixed blessing because I learned about the health issues I had and I honestly feel a lot better now than before…I just need to move out.
I hope your health isn’t too far gone that you can still do something to get better and improve your life.
*also that the doctors fixed me up, gave me the right meds…so I really improved physically. Still I need to get back in shape to stay in good health.
Why don’t young people ever listen until something really terrible happens to them?
Like I knew I should’ve stayed fit, but I got lazy and let my health go and had to learn the hard way…so much needless suffering could’ve been avoided if I used my intelligence properly.
See, if I lived in Canada, “the doctors would’ve fixed me up and give me the right meds”
In the US, Even if you have insurance and see doctors, the doctors that you see are terrible. I’ve gotten really horrible “healthcare “ here.
They never bothered to find out the real problem, and even when I know the problem is, they don’t fix it unless you’re so sick that it’s unmistakable at that point. That’s basically the US “healthcare system – when you’re sick don’t treat you for it when it’s still in the early stages. Because it is profit driven, all they want is to make money off of you. And how did they do that?
When you are mildly on moderately sick, they tell you there’s nothing wrong with you and do nothing.
They wait until you’re super super sick and THEN they “treat” you. At which point it is “too late “
This is an essence where American “healthcare quote is. It’s deplorable, just like our politicians and leaders.
People don’t realize just how important money is, and how much shitty neighbors matter. It can ruin one’s life.
I am so tired of all these jackasses saying “Money isn’t important” or “Money isn’t everything.” It sure is when you’re poor or not well off.
It bugs me that humans can never see outside of their own Cush bubbles.
The thing is, because I am college educated with a degree and used to have a professional white-collar job, these are the people who I’m around with. People who grew up with middle class or upper middle class lives.
I really don’t have much in common with people who have never gone to college or have blue collar jobs. I am a very intellectual person- and not dunking on poor ppl- but I have nothing in common intellectually with blue collar workers.
They also grew up poor so we have that in common but aside from common poverty issues, we don’t have much in common from a personal friendship level.
Anyway, long ass rant but you get what I mean at least when it comes to housing- lower income means way more neighbor problems.
Now I’m stuck and idk how to get out of it. FML.
Ya it’s always the arrogant azzholes who’ve always had money who say things like that.
I look back on my rough times and wonder how I even got through them (hence feeling suicidal for so long). I thank my mom also who looked after herself (when she lived alone for 8 yrs then we moved in together) and kept working like a dog, even while her health (mental and physical) was declining.
She’s like a saint in my eyes and kept us going when I didn’t have a job-we barely made it through the skin of our teeth, I had almost no savings.
We were tight asf financially one time for about two years till I found work and ofc everything got much better after that.
Ya we’re a lot alike in that regard. I’m uni educated and don’t have much in common with the blue collar types. I had a friend who was like that and I found they get intensely jealous and hate you because they couldn’t get a degree.
They just assume you’re arrogant and it creates other problems. He stopped being my friend because I think he felt inferior, though I never once made him feel that way or rub my education in his face.
An education makes one a more understanding and civilized person. It should be free for all, like it is in some European countries.
There’s a side of life I wish I never had seen, but like you said it’s because of low income that we experience it.
Also I learned that it’s best to avoid people who are cheap, stingy, money-grubber types…esp if they’re landlords.
If there’s any way for you to get your health back, I’d start there…if possible. Everything else becomes child’s play after…once you feel ok.
My problem is that it takes money to get healthier and it takes Health to get money. It’s a catch 22. I’ve been stuck and for so long because of that.
best to avoid people who are cheap, stingy, money-grubber types“
>>Unfortunately, I am surrounded by those types. And there’s way more of these stingy asses than you think
Sorry to hear, if I ever get rich I’ll keep you in mind but those chances seem slim right now for me.
But I agree…money/health need one for the other.
Very true…I hate people who put money before people and are penny-pinchers….and you’re right many people are like that.
With the only exception if they are poor…but if you have a friend who has no sense of generosity…they’re not someone you can rely on for anything.
Not that I expect anything from others, but if you get into a bind, they won’t be there for you.
“Another thing it taught me was that I never want to lose my health/independence, because like you said nobody can help you.”
>> It’s not that nobody CAN help but that Nobody WANTS to help.
Back when I was less disabled (could still do everything physically, just had major fatigue)- people still treat you like dirt. Even when I NEVER asked for help from anyone. Anytime someone hears “car accident” they just suddenly stop being your “friends” and ghost you. Like 20 years ago, or even five years ago, No one knew I was disabled because it wasn’t obvious looking at me, so no one knew unless I told them. And the second people know, they Suddenly start treating you like crap.
Anyway, that’s another long ass rant.
And yes, I am very pissed that my family immigrated to the United States instead of Canada. I would have had a MUCH better life there than here. USA is a shitty ass place to live. Number 1 my ass.
Ya my dad nearly made that mistake too…we almost ended up in the US but thankfully they chose Canada.
I’m not saying it’s a utopia here…esp. if you’re lower income you see the seedy side of life.
However when we came, it was a great time and overall very nice. Just dealing with some rare idiots and bullies in school.
But ya if I couldn’t be born into a rich family, at least Canada was a great place to be in….and for a guy like me, if you like beautiful girls who are nice, this is the place to be.
I just regret I didn’t take better advantage when I had the chance, but again it circles back to money struggles, bad family life, scumbag dad and so forth.
Had we had a nice house, decent income, I would’ve went much further in life, both in income and dating I have no doubt.
[sidebar-My rotten dad saw no value in me and didn’t invest in helping me as much as he could’ve.
He was focused on getting away from us, his first family, and starting a new one…all the while claiming he was such a good father to us.
He’s partly a sociopath too, sadly my other sister got his genes, she’s selfish, illogical, stupid and stubborn and uses people…she doesn’t listen to good advice and then blames everyone else when she effs up her own life.]
And ofc we got the free health care…decent job prospects and relative peace.
Ya it’s strange how people look down on others if they had health issues or injuries like in your situation. I guess the less people know about your life (esp health) the better.