I’m suicidal because I feel like an alien who just don’t belong in this world

I feel like I’m a loser at my middle-age now. I’ve basically failed in almost everything. But, people might look at me from the outside, on the surface level, and think that I’m fine/okay. Nobody knows the real truth, or the true reality of my situation. Mostly, I do think it’s all my faults. Especially maybe because I think way too differently from most ‘normal’ people. Honestly, I feel like an alien who just don’t belong in this world. I can’t relate to most people, and even humans at large. I feel so alone in all my ‘weird’ thoughts & feelings. Sadly, at my middle age now, I’m afraid it’s already too late to fix & change everything now. It’s almost impossible, realistically. And especially since I still can’t change my mindset, honestly, I don’t even know if I could survive even for the next year. I just feel stuck & trapped everyday, and it’s only getting so much worse now, as I get older. I wish there’s a way out. I really do. But, reality is cruel. I don’t know if anybody here can relate or not?