i have lost it i can tell. im not myself (not that i know who that is cuz i dont) i mean im not the way i used to be im not able to fake it i am so distant from life i dont wanna be here. i feel dangerous in a way i dont know what im ganna do next:/ my suicide attempt failed and turned into a cutting frenzy i guess i thought i could still make it, but still needed the self harm cuz my family has made it clear im a fuck-up a huge accident. being insulted by my own mom all day made me feel worse being hit by my sister hurts but i deal with that daily, i woke up this morning shaking i was scared what i would deal with today wells not well im still shaking cuz im in pain emotionally and physically and it no fun i wanna curl up under the covers tonight and just stop breathing, die. im gone. then my family can rejoice for the loss of pathetic me and my friends will forget me il be gone from minds of others and the earth itself. doesnt sound bad…
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Fuk ’em. You know?
You should decide whether you want to give them the pleasure of rejoicing or not. If I were you- I’d get my shit together enough to leave them behind forever. I wouldn’t want to give them the satisfaction of giving up. Don’t look back and live your life the way it should be- without these people that bring you down to this point. If your old enough to work, you’re old enough to get out.
Best wishes
thats my goal to get the fuck away and im only 15 cant get a job where im at til 16 but thats not enough to get out anyway im stuck in hell for a few more years i just dont know how long i can keep pulling through
I really feel for you. I hope that you know that nothing you do or did, especially at your age, is reason enough for them to be calling you a fuck up or accident. There is a life beyond your hell at home now- you’ve got to keep pushing through. Have you reached out to a counselor at school or somebody you feel comfortable talking to about this stuff?
You were dealt a bad hand- don’t let that ruin the game. I’m in my mid-20’s and sometimes have no idea how I survived my younger years, but it does get better.
oh i have had my experience with counselors i hate them they creep me out, i do have friends to talk too but only the ones i have met on here the ones i can actually be around i admitted my depression and suicidal thoughts they left me alone cuz they thought i was wanting attention but i worry of pushing my friends away after my friends just shut me out everyone i meet on here can just ignore my posts, comments, and e-mails once they get annoyed with me..yeah i’m trying to hang on in hopes it will get better but having my parents say as well im on my way to jail with my atitude just cuz i dont like rules (doesnt mean i dont follow them, i follow most of them) is really err annoying and rude im actually very respectful and have a good atitude though u set me off and im a ***** instantly they hold on to my bitchiness not the way i normally am
Fuk ’em. 🙂 don’t let what other people do dictate your future
I like Holmes idea. Fuck em!!! As soon as you turn 16 get a job, save up at least 4k, then split.
@holmes-true i know, i havehad this thing though that i fel if i dont do what im told to do by anyone not just my parents i will lose my friends but gain scars from my family, so im pretty much a slave in a way??
@GSXRScott-yes that is my plan i want to get away
All you can do is be yourself. Don’t worry too much about what others think of you or how they react. You obviously don’t deserve to be treated the way you do at home- but that doesn’t stop them, right?
When I was 15- I didn’t have a clue who I was and still struggle to this day, but all you can do is try your best at being yourself. And if you don’t have aclue who yourself is-then you keep ‘Fakingit’ til you make it. I think you’ll be just fine